Evident Within You
by JustLikeaMcCord
Summary: "The things that we love tell us what we are." - Thomas Aquinas. An accident, the aftermath, and moving on weaved through the eyes of the family. Potential trigger warning: car accident. Thank you for reading. Reviews are appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey Al, look, they're talking about Mom on that _Clothes_ show," Jason exclaimed from the couch, causing Allison to look up from the sketch she was completing.  
"Oh my God," she gasped, "Jas, turn it up!" Allison went to the couch and sat down on the arm rest.  
The commentators were discussing one of Elizabeth's new gowns that she'd recently worn to a dinner with some foreign dignitaries.

"Midnight blue is an excellent color on the Secretary," the commentator said, "it really brings out-"  
"...The color of her eyes," Allison finished with a grin, causing Jason to look at her.  
He rolled _his_ eyes at his sister, "You've seen this already."  
Allison shook her head, "Nope."  
"How'd you know they were gonna say that about Mom's eyes?" Jason asked, puzzled.  
"That's the dress Mom asked me to pick out for her," she explained, "I picked it specifically for the sweetheart neckline and the midnight blue color."  
"Okay, I'm gonna pretend like I know what that means and say it's nice," Jason replied and Allison lightly smacked his foot.

"Al, this is really good." Allison turned around to see their father standing at the table looking at her sketchbook.  
"Thanks Dad," she said, leaning against the back of the couch.  
"On _Fashion's Fab and Fiascoes_ , they were just talking about the dress I picked out for Mom to wear to that dinner last week. The one she had with that Ambassador."  
"No way! The blue one?" Henry inquired, shaking his head at Jason as he made choking motions behind Allison's back.

Allison smiled, somehow Henry _always_ remembered. "Yeah, they said the color really brought out her eyes," she elaborated, proudly.

Henry grinned, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Pretty soon Mom's gonna have to put you on her payroll as her personal fashion, uh..." Henry trailed off, looking at her, "What do they call those-?"  
"Consultant or maybe a stylist," she answered, blushing softly at her father's praise.

"Hey listen," Henry said, coming around the side of the couch to look at both of his children. "I just got a call from a colleague. He accidentally picked up my folder of exams and took it to his office by mistake. I've gotta get those graded as soon as I can, so I have to run to Georgetown. Anybody wanna come?"

"Dad, it's like 7 degrees outside and a forecast of snowy DOOM! No school for days!" Jason exclaimed, getting up from the couch to turn on his video game.

Henry ruffled his son's hair, "I'll take that as a _"no."_

"Does it mean anything to you that it's _Thursday_ night, Jas? We only have _one_ school day left this week: _Friday._ Then it's the weekend and _we don't go to school then_ ," Allison explained in an overly dramatic slow voice. "One day off isn't much to celebrate, goofball."

"Go ahead," Jason started, sighing. "Keep making fun of me. Maybe the Quakers will change their minds and make _**you**_ go to school in five feet of snow and I'll get to stay home."

Henry jumped in, " _Nobody's_ going to school tomorrow which is why I have to get to my office and grab those tests, so we can be snowed in for the long weekend!"  
"Snowball fight tomorrow morning?!" Jason cried, pulling on a blanket from the back of the couch and glancing at his father. "I'll beat you, old man!"

Henry laughed, "You're on, kid. But remember, I taught you everything you know." He gave Jason a high-five over the side of the couch. "I'll be back as soon as I can," Henry told him.

"I'll go with you, Dad," Allison said, sliding her sketchbook into her bag.  
"You sure, Noodle?"  
"I want to," she answered, going to the closet to pull on her heavy coat and scarf.

"You guys are nuts!" Jason yelled from the living room.  
"Yeah, we love you, too!" Henry yelled back in response, making Jason laugh.

* * *

"Al, let me put some salt on the stairs before we leave," Henry said, reaching for the bag of salt and the shovel from inside the closet. He tossed the keys to Allison, "You wanna start the car for me?"

His daughter nodded and ventured out the door. At the last moment before stepping on to the cold snow, she grabbed his arm, reminding him of when she was little, and tested the snow covered ground of the alleyway with her boots.

She shuffled her way to the car and opened the door with only slight difficulty. The wind was blocked by the homes back here so the doors would not freeze closed. Henry glanced up as Allison started the car, knowing she'd put the heater on full blast. She hopped out of the front seat with the ice scraper in her hand and set to work brushing the snow off of the Jeep. Henry heard her laugh softly and turned to find her in a moment of her own, completely uninhibited. His nearly seventeen year old daughter was twirling around in circles, her arms thrown out for balance, the sparkle of the snow glittering around her.

Henry laughed, "You gonna be a ballerina, Noodle?"  
Allison smiled, mischievously. "No, I think I'll leave that to Jas," she said sweetly, making Henry laugh some more.

As he put the shovel and the salt bag back in the house, he had a sudden thought.

"Hey Allie, you wanna drive?" he asked her, sticking his head back out the door to look at her. Allison bit her lip and Henry was reminded strongly of Elizabeth for an instant, before, "I've never driven in this much snow before, Dad." she admitted.

Henry nodded, "I know. That's why I thought it might be a good time for you to practice. There's not gonna be a lot of people on the road tonight, Noodle. Could be the perfect time to get your snow legs..."

Allison doubled over in laughter, " _Snow legs_? Dad, it's not a boat."

"All right, all right there Miss Giggles, I'll drive there and show you how it's done. You can drive home if you want to," Henry told her, smiling as he slid into the front seat and Allison did the same on the passenger side. "Sound like a deal?"  
"Deal," Allison agreed, giving him a fist bump with her mitten clad hand.

The snow in the lane crunched loudly as the Jeep drove out into the neighborhood.  
"Seat belt?" Allie asked him, making her voice go deep to mimic her father as she repeated the check list he gave to her when she was first learning to drive.  
"Check."  
"Headlights on?"  
"Check."  
"Visibility clear?"  
Henry laughed, "You make a darn good co-pilot, Noodle."

Allison smiled, "I distinctly remember Mom telling me that I could not **_only_** "have a Fighter Pilot teach me how to drive..."  
"And yet!..."  
"And yet, here we are." she finished with another laugh.

They drove in silence for a little while, Henry not going more than 30 miles per hour. Jason had been right about one thing, the snow _was_ deep and it was starting to pile into drifts along the road.  
Allison reached for the radio dial. "Hey, before you put that on," Henry said, "I want you to see something. I'm only going around 30 miles per hour but sometimes you can slide in this weather going even slower. If I tell you to put us into a lower gear, you know what that means, right?"  
Allison looked down at the gear shift, "I'd put it into 3rd?"  
"Exactly, you'd put your foot on the break and downshift into a lower gear. It makes it easier for the car to get traction that way."  
Allison glanced at him sheepishly, "I actually forgot about that from studying my test."  
"Aw, it's all right, Noodle. Nobody remembers things they don't put into practice regularly. I've just got a lot more years of driving in these conditions under my belt than you do," Henry told her.

Allison yawned, "And Grandpa had to walk 34 miles in the snow both ways to and from school..."  
Henry smirked, "You getting tired of me already?"  
"Nope, just thought you were going to go into a tirade about how cold it was when you were young and the dinosaurs roamed around," Allison jabbed playfully, making Henry reach across the seat to tickle her side.

"All right, put your tunes on," Henry sighed, pressing the radio dial. He listened as Allie hummed along to a female vocalist's song with a decent beat.  
This was their second winter away from the farm. He missed the land and the barn. He knew the kids missed the house and Jason missed playing hockey on the pond when it froze over. Their new life had been more than generous to them and they had a lot to be thankful for. _Still_ , Henry thought, he'd like to take them back there, someday. _Healthy family, a warm house, Henry tallied all of the good things in his life in his head. Elizabeth had gotten to sleep in this morning. He'd awakened to squint at the clock through through her haze of golden hair and her warm weight on his chest. That was a precious commodity he was definitely thankful for. Nights like this_ , he thought. _Nights without another soul on the road and the snow falling and my daughter sitting beside me tapping her feet against the dashboard to some kind of musi-_ _ **what**_ _did that singer just say?_

The song ended and a new one began. "Aww **yeah!"** Henry cried, turning up the volume. " _This_ is my jam!"  
"Dad! This is-"  
"Pitbull! Come on, Al! I know Mr. 305!" Henry said, fighting and failing to keep the laughter out of his voice.  
Allison stared at her father in shock and when Henry started to dance she began to laugh.  
"Oh my God!" she cried, giggling as she grabbed her phone, "This is going on my Instagram!"  
"Does Jason have one of those? Instagrams? Because he really might take me out tomorrow in this snowball fight, if he sees this!"

The song ended as they pulled up to a red light, both of them breathless from laughter.  
"Does Mom know about this?" Allison cried, happily.  
"Know about what?" Henry asked, grinning.  
"Your Man Crush on Pitbull?"  
Henry laughed, "Whoa! I wouldn't go that far, considering I don't even know what he looks like. I prefer to have my "Man Crushes" on your mother."

His daughter rolled her eyes through her giggles, then looked out the window, "Dad, there isn't anybody out here. You can probably go."  
Henry looked both ways at the deserted intersection. "You never know, Al," he said, laughter still tinting his voice.

The light turned green, shining brightly against the dark clouds and the white snow, and the Jeep slid slightly as Henry eased his foot on the gas pedal. They moved forward into the intersection, crossing through...

The truck came out of nowhere. Henry caught it out of the corner of his right hand mirror at the last moment, grabbing the wheel and jerking it to the left, the Jeep spinning on the slick road, Allie's scream, the glass breaking, the airbags deploying, smashing hard against a tree and then silence. The snow continued to fall and the night wore on, the darkness a heavy blanket surrounding them.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much for the positive reviews and interest. Once again, potential trigger warning for car accidents. Thank you for reading.

* * *

The feeling caught her by surprise. Alone in the hallway, Elizabeth held her hand against her stomach in an attempt to catch her breath. She'd just felt _something,_ a moment of deep anxiety, such that she had not experienced since her first panic attacks after Iran. She shivered involuntarily and pressed her head back against the wall, trying to steady herself. She took a deep breath, two. She reached into her pocket for her phone and read  
 **From** _**Your First Born:**_ **Mom, on my way home. The roads are getting bad. Be careful whenever you leave xo"  
** She typed back to Stevie with shaking hands: **"Thanks sweetheart. I love you."  
**  
There was no reason to alarm her daughter, her family. The moment had passed, she was _fine._ She bit down hard on her lip for a moment, her fingertip hovering over the little button labeled " _ **Henry.**_ "

"Bess!"  
The door to the office down the hall flung open and the President walked out.  
"Conrad! You scared me!" she said, taking a deep breath as relief washed over her, reminding her why she was here in the first place. _Meeting_ , _Conrad, just do my_ _job_ _._..  
"You all right, Bess?" he asked, standing before her and taking her in.  
"Yes, sir. I'm fine," she said, brushing off her anxiety. "Stevie just texted me. She said the roads in D.C. are getting worse-"  
"Thanks for telling me. It'll give _them_ more incentive to hurry this meeting up..." Conrad returned with a smile. "I'll meet you in there," he said quietly, motioning toward the meeting room. Elizabeth nodded and Conrad must have sensed _something,_ because before he stepped toward the Men's room he patted her forearm gently with his hand.

* * *

"Charlie, what's wrong? Come inside, you crazy boy! It's too cold out here for you!" The beagle continued to howl into the blackness. The woman sighed zipping up her coat as she walked out into her yard. "What's the matter, baby?" she asked, bending down to pet the dog's head. The night was dark, the snow coming down in a near silent hush. _Still,_ she thought, looking at the little dog who kept sniffing the snow and growling. There's _something_...

"Mary!" the silence was shattered. "Somebody crashed!" she heard her husband yell from inside the house. "What?" she cried, running back through the deep snow with Charlie at her heels. "A car! Maybe an SUV! Down the road! I think they hit a tree! I'm calling 911!"  
"Oh my God, I'm going down there!" she exclaimed, grabbing her first aid bag from the floor. She had only just unpacked her work supplies, it had been a long day at the hospital.  
"Mom! What happened? There's smoke!" Her son ran down the stairs at that moment, pulling a sweatshirt over his head.  
"Rob, grab that blanket," she cried, "Come with me! Hurry!"

* * *

 _She couldn't see._

Allison's first thought upon opening her eyes was that something must have happened, all the lights had gone out. She tried to sit up but found she couldn't budge. A heavy weight lay across her and pinned her to the seat. She shook her head slightly not understanding. She tried to move her arm and discovered that she could. She reached for her face, trying to brush away whatever was obscuring her vision. She lifted her hand and felt a soft fabric beneath her fingertips. It smelled like her father's aftershave.  
 _Scarf_.  
The word came to Allison's mind. Dad's scarf, the blue one.  
He was wearing it when- Allison gasped hard, squinting through the darkness. Her father...

"Dad," she whispered. "Daddy?" her voice rose and she felt herself start to shake. "Dad!" she screamed, pushing against the solid weight on top of her. She reached out in front of her.

In the pitch darkness, she felt an arm around her waist.  
Her father's arm.  
Her father's chest.  
Henry, half on top of her, pinning her beneath himself, holding her against the seat.

"Dad," she whispered frantically, trying to reach the seat belt underneath her father's body, trying to unbuckle herself. She pushed against Henry's side, attempting to slide her hand beneath him, but she couldn't lift her father. She tried to squeeze out of the belt but the safety lock was on and the more Allison struggled, the tighter the belt became. She felt herself start to cry, the seat belt tightened around her waist as her father's strong hold held her against the seat. Allison gasped out a choking sob and moved her hand toward the dark shape she now knew was her father.  
"Dad? Daddy?"  
She grabbed Henry's lifeless wrist, unable to hold her hand steady as she felt for his pulse. Her fingers were cold and numb and she cried out in desperation, " _Dad, please! Don't die!"_  
Her fingertips pressed hard into his wrist and found his pulse. _Yes_. Allison forced herself to exhale a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding in. Her father's pulse was beating against her fingers.  
"Dad," she cried, struggling not to move for fear the belt would tighten again. "Daddy, what do I do?" she sobbed out, breathing quickly, her mind racing.

Her mother's voice came to her mind and she recalled her mother's whispered words from weeks ago...

 _Allison had awoken to the sound of her mother crying. The clock glowed 12:42am. She'd hurried to the stairs and peeked over the banister. Elizabeth sat in the easy chair and Henry on the arm rest beside her. Her father rubbing her mother's back as she wept. Allison had stolen into her parents' bedroom and found her mother's favorite gray sweater. She'd stood in the doorway and waited to catch her father's gaze for permission to join them. When Henry's dark eyes met her own, he grinned that smile that Allie loved most and nodded for her to come sit with them, "Come on in, Al." he'd whispered. Allison laid the sweater across her mother's shoulders. Elizabeth had kissed Allison's forehead and tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear... "Thank you, Noodle," she'd said with a small smile. **"Remember, crying makes fighting and panicking worse,"** she'd whispered, wiping her eyes on her sweater sleeve and touching Allison's cheek. "It's just work, baby." Allison had settled on the floor between her parents' legs and rested her head against Elizabeth's knee. She'd fallen asleep to the soft soothing sound of their voices, lulling her back to rest._

Reaching blindly with her left hand, her fingers fell on the side pocket of Henry's jeans. The cold metal of his pocket knife touched her skin and she gasped, slowly working the knife from his pocket. Her hand shook so much she was afraid that she would drop it. In the dark, Allison felt deftly for the edge of the knife, she moved her hand closer to the window, which she could see now that her eyes were adjusting, and she could feel for the knife's edge.  
 **There!**  
 _"It's gonna be okay, Dad."_ She found it, her numb fingers feeling for the edge. She took the knife to the seat belt around her waist, trying to cut through it. She pressed her knee up toward her chest to give her leverage for her arm to rest on. The knife slipped more than once, cutting into her fingers but she couldn't stop. She worked the knife and the belt until she was able to fray the belt enough that it came apart.  
 _"I got it, Dad..."_ Free of the restraint of the seat belt, Allison pushed herself toward Henry. She moved to cut the seat belt away from his waist. Leaning heavily on her father, she repeated the process, feeling the blade of the knife with her fingers before wearing out the belt with the sharp edge. The belt slid off Henry in two pieces and Allison tucked the pocket knife into the pocket of her coat. She fell back against her seat for a moment, exhausted and unsure. She felt more terrified now than she had been before she freed them both. She didn't know what to do now. Her father was unconscious. Irrationally, Allison prayed for unconsciousness to take her again so she could wait with him until help arrived. " _Dad?_ " It was so dark and there wasn't any noise... " _ **Think**_ ," she screamed at herself, her tears falling freely now and soaking her hair. She pushed her feet up against the front of the car and they hit the dashboard. She reached above her head and found empty space. She realized that she could not free herself by moving downward but could move above, into the back seat.

" _Dad, I'm gonna go for help. I'm gonna find someone who can help us."_

She could just see her father's silhouette now, outlined dark against the soft glow coming from the snow. She used all her strength to pull herself up toward the back of the car and out from beneath her father's protective weight. She cried out in pain as she felt her ankle twist and she heaved herself over the back of the seat. She had to keep herself as calm as she could. She had to keep talking to her father.  
 _"Dad, Daddy, I'm gonna go out and get help."_  
The door to her right was completely obscured by a dark shape, the glass shattered into spiderwebs. She crawled toward the other door, trying to open it. She couldn't. She threw all of her weight onto the door. It didn't budge. " _No, no_ ," Allison cried, frantic. She looked around her, her head bumping hard into the top of the roof.  
" _No_ ," she moved herself away from the door and tried to kick the window out with her feet. She tried once, twice, three times. " _No_ ," on the fourth try the spider glass shattered out into the snow, creating a small hole.  
 _"Dad, we're gonna be okay,"_ she gasped, kicking harder at the little pieces of glass splintering everywhere. She pulled herself back toward the window.  
 _"I'm going for help, Dad,"_ she cried before pulling herself through the broken window.  
Allison wasn't aware of how the jagged glass cut into the palms, how her knees hit rock when she fell, how deep the snow was around her, she was only aware of the smell of _smoke._

" _No_ ," she cried, struggling to stand in the knee deep drift. _"Dad! Daddy! Help please!"_ she screamed, stumbling toward the front door. It was smashed in toward the cabin. Allison slipped in the snow and fell hard against the cold metal. " _No!_ "

"We're coming!" she heard voices...

" _Dad!"_ she screamed, _"Help me, please!"_  
And again, louder this time, more than one voice."Hold on! We're coming! Just hang on!"  
A light bobbing toward her from between thick trees and the red and blue lights of an ambulance following along the road.

" _Please!"_ she screamed again as the figures appeared with flashlights that blinded her eyes.

"Are you okay? Is there anyone else in the car?"

" _My Dad, please, help my Dad!"_ Allison screamed, she felt someone touch her shoulder but she couldn't look around. She was transfixed, horrified as she watched two men smash the driver's side window. She felt someone take her hand, someone with a gentle touch, someone like her- " _Mom?"_ she gasped.

"My name is Mary, honey. I'm a nurse. I'm here to help you."

" _My Dad, please, my Dad..."_

"That's my husband and my son-" the woman said, indicating the two men working to free Henry from the wreckage of the Jeep. "The ambulance is here."

The whirling lights of the ambulance...  
The siren searing through the frozen air...  
Allison felt herself grow dizzy and clung to the woman beside her.

"She's going to faint..." _  
Who?  
_ Firetrucks, police officers...  
She didn't understand.. _.Dad. Get my Dad_.

"Can you tell me your name, sweetheart?"  
Allison shook her head, straining her eyes to try to see the car, _the_ _car_. She screamed as she watched their Jeep go up in flames. " _Dad!_ " she screamed, " _No!"_ she felt arms grab her and she struggled, screaming into the night. _"No, Daddy! My Dad!"_

"They got him out. He's going to the hospital," the woman's gentle voice told her, but Allison didn't believe her. She had to see for herself, she just had to _see_...

" _Where? Where is he?"  
_ "Can you tell me your name, honey?"  
" _I need to see my Dad. I don't want-"  
_ " _I don't want-"  
_ " _Where is he?"  
_ " _Don't leave-"  
_ " _Please, I need-_

The world was spinning, the blanket over her shoulders was heavy, the pressure of the woman's hand on her own...

"Allie," she whispered, "I'm Allie."


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you once again for your continued interest and reviews. They are so appreciated.

* * *

"Ahh!" Stevie squealed, opening the door of the warm coffee shop and tiptoeing into a snow drift. "This was not here when we came in!" She quickly stepped back inside and closed the door. She turned to her companion, Charlotte, a friend from school. The girls had worked all afternoon on a group presentation. The library had been packed with students, so Stevie's suggestion of her favorite coffee place in town became their destination. Stevie, Allison, and Jason frequented the spot and they knew the elderly owner was friendly. Charlotte joined her at the door. "Do you think we're even going to have class tomorrow?"

" **There is a Winter Storm Warning in effect for the Washington D.C. Metro area. A Winter Storm Watch is spanning the North East from Virginia to Vermont. Proceed on roads with extreme caution. No word on whether or not air traffic has been halted. Keep it here for more news and alerts regarding the storm. Multiple school and university closings..."**

"I'll eat my hat if they send you kids to school tomorrow," Tom, the owner chimed in over the sound of the TV alert. "We've got more than a foot already and it doesn't look like it's going to be stopping! Will you girls be all right getting home?"  
"We will, thank you. We're both close by," Charlotte answered, pulling on her coat and gloves. Stevie followed suit and grabbing her bag, they were almost out the door. "Thanks Tom!" Stevie cried out.

"Hey Stephanie," Tom called in reply. "I just finished a batch of those blueberry scones. You want to take some for Allison and Jason?"  
Stevie laughed, "Tom, what would us McCords do without your constant supply of baked goods? Mom ate that entire chocolate chip brownie by herself!" Tom smiled at her praise and packed the pastries in a box as Stevie paid for them. "Tell Jason that next week I start making those apple turnovers again."

Stevie smiled, "I will. He's gonna want to move in! Thanks again, Tom."  
"You're welcome, Stephanie. Be careful, girls!"  
"We will!"Their voices chimed in unison as they stepped out into the storm.

They broke out in giggles as they fought their way through the snow to the street where Stevie's car was parked. Thankfully, the plow hadn't been past and so she wasn't going to be stuck.  
"Are you gonna need a push?" Charlotte asked when they reached the sedan. "I think I'll be okay. My Dad made sure I got new snow tires so I'm basically covered for snow-mageddon." Stevie replied with a laugh, pulling her car door open and dropping the pastry box safely on the seat. "You sure you don't want a ride?" Stevie asked as Charlotte started down the sidewalk. "Stevie McCord, I'm from Buffalo! I'm used to this!" Charlotte said with a laugh, "Be careful on the _road!"_

"See you later!" Stevie called after her retreating friend as she brushed the snow off the windows of her car. She hopped into the driver's seat and turned the heat all the way up. Shivering against the chill of the cold car, she grabbed her cell phone. The Weather Service's warning echoed in her ear as she texted her mother. Elizabeth's meeting was hours ago. Her flight was surely on the ground here in D.C. She had to be back by now...she peeked at the text message she'd sent to her mother ten minutes ago.

" **Mom, Leaving now. The roads are getting bad. Be careful whenever you leave xo.** " and Elizabeth's reply: _"Thanks sweetheart. I love you."_

Stevie sighed, no mention of where she was or when she would be home. But she knew better than to call her mother when she was in the middle of important meetings. Stevie shook her head at just how _normal_ their family made matters of national security seem. It was all just part of the routine.  
She moved to pull out of the parking space, but before she did, she turned the radio on. Allison's favorite new song played through the speakers. She laughed and picked up her phone once more. Pressing " **Allie** " she waited to hear her sister's voice before she burst into song...  
" _Hey, It's Allie. I can't answer right now. Text me or I'll call you back later. Bye!"_ She hung up before the beep. Her sister was probably curled up on the couch in the living room sketching, or maybe she'd fallen asleep.

* * *

The siren were piercing, the lights glaring...  
 _"Do you know her name, Mary?"  
"Allie. She said her name was Allie. It could be Alexandra or Allison?"  
"Caucasian female, approximately 16 years of age, vehicle crash, check for head trauma, possible shock, lacerations on her hands and neck..."  
"I'm going in with her."  
_

* * *

Jason yawned. He got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of hot chocolate. He set to work heating up the mug in the microwave and then moved to sit up on the counter top. The morning paper was still there. His mother's peace negotiation talks had made the front page. His eyes skimmed the article. Elizabeth had left for New York early in the day. They had all met in the city, neutral territory or something, Jason thought. He lifted the paper and his eyes fell on his father's wallet. "Crap," Jason whispered. Henry never forgot his wallet or his cell phone. Jason was sure that in the midst of the commotion surrounding his father's drive back to school that he'd forgotten it. They'd been planning that snowball fight...  
Jason shrugged the moment off, certain that there wasn't anyone on the road tonight and his dad was the last person to receive a speeding ticket, especially on a night like this with so much snow.  
The microwave timer sounded and Jason carried his hot chocolate to the couch. Letting the liquid cool for a minute, he took a sip. It was never _quite_ as good as when his dad made it. Not that Jason would ever tell him. Manly pride and all that. He grabbed his cell phone and texted Henry, just in case. **"Dad. You forgot your wallet."**

* * *

The nurse stood inside the linen closet, reaching for the softest blanket she could find. Mary couldn't shake the little girl's face from her mind. As a nurse, she often helped frightened children. The little girl's hair had been windblown, her pallid cheek dashed with red, her hands bleeding freely onto the white snow. She'd grabbed the girl's hands first, putting pressure on her cuts. What troubled Mary the most wasn't the blood, it was the little girl's face. She knew she'd seen her somewhere before. Her delicate features were unmistakable, even in her fear. If her son had been in an accident and they couldn't identify him to call her, she would be petrified. She couldn't let another family go through that. She had to think. _She had to remember._

* * *

"Hey kiddo," Stevie called. She shook her boots off at the back door and walked into the warm kitchen with the pastry box in tow.  
"You made it home alive," Jason said, without looking up from his video game. Stevie threw herself onto the couch beside him, rubbing her hands together for warmth. "It's _nuts_ out there. Freezing! See!?" she pressed her cold hands to her brother's bare foot.  
"Holy crap!" Jason cried, "You're the one who's _nuts!_ You, Dad, and Al. They went to Georgetown to get some folder Dad **had** to have for the weekend," Jason explained, elaborating when he saw Stevie's confused look. "What time did they leave? The snow is insane now."  
Jason shrugged and Stevie yawned, "Is there dinner left over? I'm starving!"

* * *

Allison shivered and pulled the plush yellow blanket up around her shoulders. The thin hospital gown didn't her warm at all and she longed for the softness of her sweater. _Dad_. The nurses had tried to soothe her over and over again, but even now she was shaking so hard that her teeth were chattering. _Dad_.  
She hadn't felt the IV go into her arm, nor the stitches against her broken skin. _Mom_.  
She was alone now. _Stevie_.  
She looked down at her hands, wrapped in bright white gauze. _Jason_.  
If she moved her head slightly she could see her own scared face mirrored in the blackness beyond the window. She saw a dark red gash on her cheek and another across the right side of her forehead. _Dad._ _Mom. Stevie. Jason._

A sudden thought occurred to her and she gave a gasp.  
No one knew where she was.  
No one knew Dad was hurt.  
Jason was home by himself.  
Stevie  
Mom  
 **Dad** **  
**Allison looked around the room, a growing frantic feeling building in her chest. She tried to think back to the last time she had it. Her lifeline to getting in touch with her family. Her parents always joked that she and her cell phone were inseparable, but now that she needed it, where was it? Even if she could get in touch with someone she wasn't sure she could talk or scream or even make a sound. Where was it? At home? In her room? In her pocket? She remembered then.. _.in the car_.

* * *

 _ **Allie**_. The jumble of voices grew louder. _**Allie**_ _._ The pain seared through his shoulder. _**Allie**_. The room swam before him. _**Stevie.**_ _**Jason.**_ _**Elizabeth**_ **.**

* * *

"Mar. Calm down. It's only been a couple minutes." Mary looked over at her husband, who was sitting in a small alcove near the doors. "Rob will be here soon." She sat down and took her husband's hand. "Are you all right?" he asked her.  
Mary shook her head. "The little girl from the wreck? She's familiar to me and I don't know why. She didn't have any ID on her and I don't have any word about her father."  
"Honey, you help so many kids they're bound to start to-"  
"No, she's _different._ I feel like she was on tv or in a magazine. I feel like I should know who she is! Imagine how afraid her family is..."  
"Mom!"  
Mary looked up at the sight of their teenage son running towards them. Rob's face was flushed from the cold. "I found it in the snow." he handed the black cell phone to his mother. "I took a look at it. It's _her's._ I found out who she is. You know the Secretary of State's daughter? The younger one?"  
"Allison," Mary whispered, comprehension dawning. She _knew_ she'd seen the girl's face before tonight. She glanced at her husband and son.  
"Mom, we've gotta call someone for her-" Rob started.  
"Mar, let the police handle-"  
"I'm not letting her family find out through someone who doesn't know a thing about what happened. They'll be terrified enough."  
She slid the screen lock across and saw " **missed call: Stevie.** " She took a deep breath, pressed the "call back" button, and let it ring.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you (as always) for you continued interest and reviews. Thank you for hanging in here with me for the long haul. You are all the best.

* * *

Elizabeth fiddled with her wedding rings. Her diamond and her wedding band never strayed far from her left hand and they were taking the brunt of her anxious energy. Earlier in the evening, she'd tried to sit but found that she couldn't keep her legs from shaking. She opted to stand behind the main circle of chairs and try to listen to the negotiation that was taking place. She'd felt Jay's concerned gaze following her more than once. Glancing out the window, she caught her own reflection in the darkened glass. She looked as pale as she as felt. Seeing herself, she was reminded of Allison. She and Henry had always joked with their youngest daughter that she could be Snow White. Allison's hair, so different from her own blonde, and porcelain skin always reminded Elizabeth of the Disney princess. The dark against the snow now reminded her how much she wished she could be at home.

When the door opened and one of Conrad's staffers stepped in, Elizabeth welcomed the distraction. "Sir. I'm sorry to intrude. I wanted to make you aware that all air traffic has been grounded for tonight. The storm has hit hard. We have to wait for permission to fly back to D.C. In the meantime, the hotel has blocked off a floor of rooms for everyone to stay tonight."

Irrationally, Elizabeth felt herself well up with tears. The day had been long and taxing. She was hungry. She wanted to have dinner and climb into bed and to wake up cocooned in Henry's arms under their fluffy comforter. She wanted to listen to the kids raucous voices as they made late morning pancakes.  
She leaned against the windowsill and met Jay's eye. He shook his head in disbelief. His sister-in-law had called earlier. She was going into the hospital to deliver her first child. Her husband, Jay's brother, was stationed in Afghanistan and Jay had promised them he'd be there for her when she delivered his nephew. His sister-in-law had told him not to rush, not to panic, and that she would keep him posted. Elizabeth had listened with a smile the entire plane ride as Jay told her about his family and this brand new baby boy who was about to make his entrance into the world. Baby Chloe now had a cousin right around her age...  
As the hours passed, Danielle's texts became more frequent and Jay grew anxious. Elizabeth had told him to _**go**_ more than once, but he'd stayed by her side. Now, it was too late and they was stranded in New York for the night. He walked towards her and Elizabeth touched his arm, whispering, "I'm so sorry, Jay."

She felt selfish for wanting to be home now, when Jay should be the first one on a flight back to D.C. His sister-in-law and little nephew's birth were important. She wasn't missing anything important. It wasn't Jason's birthday, Allie's spring art show, or Stevie's project presentation day. She wasn't missing anything, other than her family. She shook herself mentally to get rid of the feeling of unease that had been plaguing her all night. She took a deep breath and saw Jay's disappointed but gentle gaze. She wasn't missing anything. _She wasn't._

* * *

Stevie took a bite of cold spaghetti as her cell phone buzzed from the table. "Oh, it's Al," she said, her mouth full. "Ah-llieee, where the heck are you?"  
The voice that fell on Stevie's ear wasn't her sister's, but a stranger's.

 ** _"Hello, My name is Mary. Is this Stevie?"_**

Stevie swallowed hard, " _Yes_ , this is she. I'm sorry, who did you say you were?"  
Stevie met Jason's curious look, as he glanced at her over the back of the couch.

 ** _"Stevie, you don't know me, but my name is Mary and I'm a nurse at Providence Hospital."_**

Stevie's heartbeat sped up and her mind struggled to keep the same pace. She dropped her fork onto the plate with a loud clatter.  
"What? What happened?" Jason asked, urgently.

 **"** _ **Stephanie, your dad and your sister were in an accident this evening,"**_ the woman's soft voice was supposed to be soothing, but Stevie couldn't breathe.

" _Oh_ my God, are they okay? Do you know what happened? Where- oh my God!"  
Stevie felt Jason beside her an instant later, " _What_?" he whispered, more insistently. She looked at him and shook her head. He read her frightened expression correctly.  
" _ **No!**_ **"** he cried, and Stevie leaned heavily against the table as Jason bolted for the front of the house. She heard him at the front door, shouting to the agents outside. "We've gotta _go,_ Stevie!" he yelled, panic filling his voice.

A moment later, Stevie grabbed Jason's hand as he pulled her into the back of one of the black SUV's.  
"What _happened?"_ he exploded, the second she was beside him. The agents in the front seat were speaking hurriedly amongst themselves. Stevie clutched her phone, pressing her mother's number with her shaking fingertip.  
"I don't know," she muttered, "There were in an accident. They think somebody ran a red light." It seemed so surreal to Stevie to say those words to her brother, here in their giant safe SUV surrounded by some of the most well-armed and highly trained security officers in the nation.  
The phone rang and rang..."Damn it! Pick up the _phone_ , Mom!" she shrieked, losing her temper.

"Stephanie, your mother has been briefed as to the situation and we're making plans to get her home," one of the agents, Michael, told them reassuringly.

Stevie repeated exactly what the nurse had said, to Jason. "They're at the hospital. She couldn't tell me anything about their conditions. She said that she and her family live near where the crash happened and they-" Stevie's voice caught in her throat and she gasped. "I don't think I thanked her," she whispered, swallowing her tears. She felt Jason press his hand to her back and they rode the rest of the way in silence.

* * *

Blake's phone buzzed incessantly. He rolled his eyes. This night could not get worse. It was freezing, they were stranded in New York, the snow was piling up, and his patience, on the contrary, was wearing thin. All he wanted - the only thing they all wanted was to go home. He was standing in the hallway of the hotel, making sure that Elizabeth's overnight bag was brought to the correct room when his phone vibrated again. "All right, all right," Blake sighed in annoyance, pulling the device from his pocket. His heart stopped as he read the message and he was on the phone with Frank an instant later. "We _have_ to get her to that hospital!"

Blake didn't often run, but the thought of what had happened was enough to make his panic complete. He raced down several flights of stairs to the second floor of the hotel, where the Secretary was being held in a meeting. He flashed his badge to the security outside the room and knocked before entering.

"Ma'am?" he called, looking for her blonde hair in the sea of graying men in suits and ties.

He spotted Elizabeth standing up against the wall and he motioned for her to join him. "Excuse me, Mr. President. I need to see the Secretary immediately," he said, throwing protocol out the window.

Elizabeth came toward him with Jay close at her heels. "Blake? What's wrong?" she asked, her voice tired but tinged with apprehension. Blake tried his best to stay calm as he lead her from the room and out into the hallway. He wasn't about to give her this kind of news in front of a crowd of people. She deserved privacy, she deserved dignity, she didn't deserve-

He turned back to her and he watched the color fade from her cheeks. _"Blake, tell me-"_

He mustered the courage to say, "Ma'am, I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your husband and daughter were in a car accident earlier tonight."

" _What_?" Elizabeth cried breathlessly, already reaching for her cell phone and hurrying toward the elevator. Blake followed in step. "I have to call-" she hit **send** without thought and heard: _Hi, you've reached Henry McCord-.._.  
"Oh _**God**_ ," she gasped, realizing what she had done. "Blake, what _happened?_ Are they all right?"

"I don't know any details right now, Ma'am, but they are both at Providence Hospital," Blake felt his voice tremble at the look on her face. "All air travel has been halted, but Frank has a police escort ready to drive you back to D.C. I have your overnight bag packed and the car is waiting. Your other children have already arrived at the hospital-" he steered her toward the Emergency exit.

"Ma'am, You take care of your family," Jay said, trying to reassure her. As Blake helped her put one arm into her coat, she struggled to push the door open and stepped out into more than a foot of snow.

"Wait!" she cried, turning around. "Jay! Come with me! Your sister-in-law-"

Frank grabbed her hand, helping her into the car.

"Ma'am, are you sure?" Jay questioned.

"Get in the car!" Blake commanded and then as Jay moved past him out into the snow, he pressed a full bottle of pills into Jay's hand, keeping his voice low.

"If she starts to have a panic attack..." Jay nodded, understanding. " _Take care of her,_ " Blake told him.

At the last instant before the car door slammed, Elizabeth looked back at Blake, standing alone in the cold.

"Blake," she said frantically, realization coming quickly now, " _ **Henry**_ _**and**_ _-?"_

" _Allison,''_ he answered her, gravely.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Thank you so much for your continued reviews and support.  
*Please note that this chapter, especially Elizabeth, went a little darker than I thought she would. So please, if you're not thrilled with the angst - feel free to skip over it. (Although, I think the angst ship has sailed and my dear readers are on it, given everything this story contains) Thank you, as always!

* * *

Jason burst through the double doors of the entrance to Providence Hospital with Stevie just steps behind him.  
"My Dad!" he cried, incoherently to the woman at the desk, "Henry! My sister! Allie- Allison. He's tall, dark hair. She's got black hair, brown eyes, sixteen-..."

" _McCord_ ," Stevie gasped, out of breath, "Allison and Henry McCord. A car accident-"

"Yes," the woman said, kindly. "If you'll just give me one moment, I can look up their room numbers for you."  
The receptionist's phone rang at that moment and she answered it.

Jason bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep himself from yelling at the woman. He knew she meant well but they'd already waited enough tonight. It had been almost an hour since they'd left the house but Jason swore it had been years. He stole a glance at Stevie, her blue eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but she kept holding them back.  
"Do you know anything about their conditions?" Stevie asked the woman and Jason gave her a lot of credit – all he felt like doing was running behind the desk, grabbing the computer and looking up the room numbers himself. It was taking every ounce of his self-control to hold himself there, right beside his sister and not go bolting through the hallways yelling for their dad and sister. He thought of what their father would say if he knew Jason had lost his temper with the woman and he tried to calm down...  
Moments passed before his impatience got the best of him and he turned away from the desk, trying to take a deep breath, leaving Stevie for a moment.

"I'm sorry for making you wait. Allison McCord is on the third floor in Room 322. I can have someone take you up-"

Jason had heard enough and he was racing toward the elevator with Stevie tailing him. Michael and one of the other agents followed them. Jason felt like he was going to be sick. He punched the 3rd floor button and they stood in an edgy silence as the elevator doors slid shut.  
"She couldn't tell me anything else," Stevie whispered, keeping her voice low so that only he could hear. In the car, Jason had decided that the waiting was the hardest part. The _not_ knowing was the worst. But now, _now_ that he was mere seconds from knowledge about his father and his sister, he felt like he could barely stand up.

He looked at Stevie and she answered him before he spoke, _"322."_  
The elevator doors opened and they moved swiftly into a busy hallway crowded with nurses, technicians, and assistants. Jason felt Stevie grab his hand and for a moment he wanted to shake her off. He wanted to tell her he wasn't a little kid anymore and that he wasn't going to get lost in the crowd. But he stopped himself, understanding her need to be close, her need to hold onto him. To hold on to _something..._

They navigated their way through the medical personnel, counting door numbers as they went. "316."

"Can I help you find someone?" a nurse, coming out of room 318, asked them.

"We're fine, thank you," Stevie replied.

Then _ **"Stevie? Jas?"**_ they heard her. Allison's voice coming from the room just down the hall and they bolted towards the half-open door.

Jason almost fainted when he saw her. _His sister_ , _alive_ , _right_ _there_. She'd been in the living room beside him, then almost – nowhere, _**gone**_ _._

Allison looked so small there in the bed, wearing a light purple hospital gown. " _Allie_ ," they both said her name in unison and Allison burst into tears. Jason watched as Stevie pulled their sister to herself without hesitation, and pressed a kiss to her bruised forehead. Stevie's tears falling against Allison's dark hair.

Jason wanted to hug her, too. He wanted to know where Dad was. He wanted to know what had happened. He wanted Mom to be here already. He wanted to scream so many different things but he settled for... _"Are you hurt?"_

He was surprised that he could speak at all. He took in the bandages on her hands and the stitches on her forehead. He didn't want to touch Allison yet. He was afraid he'd break her. Allison shook her head, reaching for him.  
"Come here," she said softly, and Jason came close to her, pulling her against himself in a hug. He tried to ignore the angry red gash on her neck, tainting his sister's porcelain skin.

"Mom's on her way," Stevie said softly as Jason moved away. She reached for his hand as she held Allison's bandaged fingers gently.

"Any more stitches?" he asked her, eyeing her forehead. They all knew the questions loomed before them, but none of them were prepared to ask. Jason was aching inside and so he distracted himself by asking Allison about her injuries.

"No," she said, quietly. "I've got a brace on my ankle but they don't think it's broken."

"Sprain," Jason said, knowingly. "Why all this...?" he asked her, motioning to the IV running into his sister's arm. Allison fixed her gaze on their intertwined hands laying on the white blanket "I don't really know," she said quietly, "I think I passed out after I got-..." she trailed off, shaking her head and whether she was trying to remember or forget _–_ Jason couldn't be sure.

* * *

" _Twelve degrees..."  
_ " _Four hours..."  
_ " _Try to get a hold of Michael. He's with Stephanie and Jason."  
 **Stevie, Jason?...  
**_ " _Can we get any word regarding their conditions?"_

The chatter washed over her but it didn't have any meaning attached to it. She didn't understand. She didn't _want_ to understand.  
 _Her beautiful daughter. Her husband, her best friend. Their world...  
_ Jason and Stevie were _alone_.  
 _How_ could this have happened?  
She _couldn't_ understand.

All she knew for certain was that she was dying. Right there in the back seat next to Jay, she was sinking.  
She was going to die.  
She was sure of it.  
Her heart was beating out of her chest but her shaky hands had frozen still. She tried to take small, quiet breaths, to slow her heart but _if they were gone_ -  
If Henry was _gone_ -? If Allison was-?  
What _reason_ did she have to need to be alive? Her _sweet daughter, her husband?_  
 _How_ could she live with herself knowing that they were gone and she hadn't _been_ _ **there**_ _?  
_ How could she face her two gorgeous children ever again and look at them and remember that she had left them _alone?_  
That she _hadn't been there when their father and sister had-_

" _Ma'am, we have an ETA of 11:25pm."_

Elizabeth couldn't feel her hands. She wasn't even sure where they were in relation to her body. _11:25pm.  
_ Her limbs felt heavy and her heart was going to beat itself to death, but at Frank's words she forced herself to look at the clock on the dashboard.  
 _11:25pm_.

She read _9:12pm_ and something inside of her snapped.  
"That's _two_ hours from now, Frank!" she burst out shrilly, causing Jay to jump beside her.  
" _Ma'am, take this-"_

She surprised herself by how sharp her voice sounded, while the rest of her world was dulling around the edges. She didn't care, to hell with professionalism and protocol and the Secretary of State. To hell with every damn thing that she was _supposed_ to be other than a wife and a mother and _**there**_...

" _Ma'am, here, just take this-"_ the opened water bottle spilling over her thigh.

"There has to be _something_ you can do! I _have_ to be there! Call the hospital and have them send a Life Flight for me!" she gasped. " _For God's sake, they could be dead by then!_ " she shrieked, her terrible panic forcing her absolute worse fear from her lips.

" _Ma'am!"  
She felt herself slipping  
_" _Jay, I can't – I can't breathe-"  
Jay forcing the water bottle into her hand along with the tiny pill. His strong hands were meant to be comforting against her arms. But his hands weren't Henry's. She didn't want anyone except her husband to touch her.  
But Henry was...  
He wasn't here. He might never be again...  
_" _I'm losing her!"  
She couldn't breathe  
_" _Ma'am, you_ _ **have**_ _to look at me." Jay's hand was against her neck.  
"Stay __**with**_ _me, Elizabeth! Jason and Stevie. They_ _ **need**_ _you. Henry and Allison. Just swallow the pill. For_ _ **them**_ _, Elizabeth!"_


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for your continued reviews and support. It's all so appreciated.

* * *

"I'm gonna go for a walk," Jason announced, touching Stevie's shoulder as he stood and moved toward the door. Stevie's mind was following the same train of thought. They couldn't just keep sitting there in fear. One of them needed to go on a reconnaissance mission and Jason had volunteered. She was just about to tell him to see if he could find another blanket when Allison spoke up.  
"Jas, _don't,_ I want us to stay together," she said, shaking her head.  
A pained look crossed Jason's face, "I'll be right out here, Al. I'm not gonna go anywhere..." He looked at his oldest sister for permission and Stevie nodded, granting him the allowance he sought to slip out the door.

Allison looked at Stevie with tears welling in her eyes, "I don't want him to go by _himself."_  
 _"Shhh..."_ she shushed her as Allison leaned over and buried her face against Stevie's stomach. Stevie played gingerly with her sister's hair, in an effort to calm her.  
"He'll be okay," she whispered, unsure of who she was reassuring Allie about – their brother or their father - but she wanted to keep talking. The silence was slowly stifling them all. Whenever they were sick at home, Elizabeth would sit with them and tell them stories. Irrationally, she hoped their mother wouldn't be disappointed in her. Stevie didn't think she had it in her to tell Allison a story tonight. She couldn't weave positive thoughts together when she was so unsure of how their own story was going to end.

She found that she didn't have to speak, because Allison did. "How did you know where I was?" she asked, her voice muffled against Stevie.  
Stevie took a breath - _Too soon, Allie,_ she thought.  
But her sister had never been one to shy away from difficult truths. It was a trait their entire family had running through their veins. Stevie tried to keep her voice light as she spoke, her fingers sliding through Allison's black hair.

"A nurse called me. She told me you guys were" **in _an accident_** "here."  
"Jason ran and told the security guys and we got in the car right away," Stevie shook her head at the memory. Here in the hospital room, under the lights and against the white sterile floors: the phone call and the cold seemed like something out of a bizarre nightmare. They lapsed into silence and Allison was quiet for so long that Stevie was sure she'd fallen asleep. When Stevie moved to change her position beside her, Allison whispered, "Stevie, what if Dad-"

There was a commotion from somewhere outside of the room, loud male voices speaking in angry tones.  
 _"They've had a rough night. We'll make sure it doesn't happen_ _again."_

"Jas!" Allison cried as Stevie sprinted out into the hallway. Michael, their agent, seemed to be holding Jason behind him as he exchanged words with a security guard. Stevie pulled Jason to herself, as Michael spoke with the man.  
"What happened?" she asked him, in a rush.  
"I tried to hack into a computer on the second floor to find out about Dad," he answered her, unabashedly. She didn't have the strength to admonish him. Her brother's face was so full of distress, "They're not _telling_ us anything! They've gotta know _something!"_

Stevie held Jason's shoulders. _"Shhh,"_ she whispered for the second time in less than an hour. "Go sit with Al. I'll see what I can do."  
Jason gave her a dubious look and for a moment she thought his stinging sarcasm was going to come back to him and he was going to snap at her. She wouldn't have deserved it, but would surely have taken it from her brother. He had to be able to let his frustrations out somehow, in a way that didn't get them all into trouble. He seemed frozen there beside her, just staring down the hallway toward the nurses station. "Allie needs us," she whispered, reminding him of just why they were here. "I shouldn't have done that," he admitted, deflating, his eyes losing hope.  
"It's okay," she told him, quietly.  
"No, it's not," he replied, upset.  
"Go sit with her," she urged him, once more.

When Jason was back inside the room with Allison, Stevie started toward the nurses station. Michael waved her away, motioning for her to go back inside. Stevie held her breath, not wanting to return to her brother and sister without information, but afraid to make a false move and get them into a deeper predicament tonight. She nodded to Michael, mouthing _"Anything?"_ He shook his head and Stevie felt like the floor was pulled out from beneath her feet.  
"I'm gonna go try to find us some hot chocolate," she told Jason when she stepped back into the room. "I'll be back."

* * *

Mary passed by the half-open door. She had to ground herself before peeking inside. The nurse had avoided coming up here for as long as her heart would let her. She didn't want Allison to see her, for fear that she would recognize her from the scene of the crash. The last thing she wanted to do was upset the girl. What she did want to do was make sure Allison and her family were all right. She knew Allison was being well taken care of, but she had to see for herself. She was aware that the other McCord children had come right after she had called them. Judging by the heavy winter coats piled high on the spare chair in the corner, they had arrived. Mary peered inside the room on the pretense of checking Allison's file. She needn't have worried because Allison was resting, her inky lashes settled against her fair cheeks. Mary took her first deep breath since the crash. Allison looked placid, the antithesis of the tumult she'd been thrust into directly after the crash. Mary smiled and whispering " _Good girl, Allison. You're all right,_ " she walked on.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you all (as always) for your continued reviews and support. Your readership means so much to me. This is a loooong chapter, so thank you for sticking with me.

* * *

She was warm but the fabric of the car seat was cool against her skin. The window was open and the snowflakes fell onto her cheek. She shifted and felt the warmth fall away. She heard a faint rustling sound and someone's hand touched her arm as the warm weight returned, covering her body. She sunk back into the darkness of sleep.

 _She was six. They'd played outside all day and her pink cheeks were numb from the cold. It was night and the snow fort grew bigger and bigger with each block their father shaped. "Look, Lizzie Lizard!" Will cried, "It's an igloo!"  
She was nine. Shrieking with delight as their sled glided across the white powdery evening. Their father's head thrown back in laughter. Their mother beaming as she watched on.  
She was thirteen. The calendar on the wall marked fourteen days until Christmas. Nat King Cole crooned quietly from the radio. The light reflecting off the snow cast sparkles on the ceiling of her darkened bedroom. She kept her tired eyes open, focusing on the swirling pattern of the snowflakes, as she waited for the sound of the front door to open, for her parents to return from their trip.  
Thirteen, when the shrill ring of the phone woke her from a sound sleep. Thirteen, when she ran down the stairs to answer, the cold floor biting at her toes. Thirteen, when the scream she hadn't realized escaped from her mouth brought her brother, racing down the stairs. Thirteen, when they had buried their parents. When their childhood had ended._

 _ **Silent Night,**_

 _She was seventeen. It was her last year at boarding school before she moved on to college. UVA. Early decision. **Her** decision and her's alone. Christmas break had descended.  
She'd said goodbye to all her friends four days ago, or was it five? She hadn't seen anyone in so long, she'd lost count.  
The quiet was complete around her and the snow was loathe to cease it's falling.  
Will was away, spending the holiday with his girlfriend. He promised her he'd call tomorrow morning. She spent Christmas Eve in the small chapel on the grounds. Even though she wasn't religious at all, and hadn't been to religious services since her parents funeral, she felt like this night should be spent inside a church._

 _ **Holy night,**_

 _The soft glow of hundreds of candles lit the space, flickering in the invisible breeze that danced around her with every step she took. The night was still, clear, cold.  
_ _ **All is calm. All is bright.**_

 _She was by herself. "I love you, Lizzie. You'll be fine," her mother had whispered, waving that one last time.  
_ _ **Round yon virgin Mother and Child.**_ _  
She promised herself then that someday, when she had children, she would make sure they never felt so alone.  
_ _ **Holy infant, so tender and mild.**_

 _Henry, his warm hand enveloped hers, pressing a kiss to her temple as she drifted off against him in the pew before Midnight mass - exactly two Christmases later.  
_ _ **Sleep in heavenly peace.**_

Small Stevie cuddling baby Jason, rocking him in front of their brightly lit Christmas tree. Jason's little feet moving in excitement at the multicolored display.  
 _ **Sleep in heavenly peace.**_

 _Henry, holding tiny Allison on his shoulders as they stood outside in the frozen blackness, looking up at the iridescent stars.  
_ _ **Silent night, holy night. Shepherds quake at the sight.  
Glories stream from Heaven a far...**_

 _ **Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,**_ _Stevie's golden hair strewn across her cheeks and tangling in her halo, as she sang in the Christmas Pageant._

 _ **Christ the Savior is born. Christ the Savior is born.**_

The hushed sound of a familiar voice met her ear.  
"They're okay? Seven and a half pounds? Good for him! I'm so glad you got through. I've been so worried..."

Elizabeth opened her eyes and sat up slowly, the warm weight of her coat sliding off her body once more. She peered to her right and found Jay speaking softly into this cell phone.  
Jay looked at her, and realizing that she was awake, said quickly, "I'll be there soon. Thanks for letting me know..."  
"Your sister-in-law?" she asked quietly, taking in Jay's expression, "The baby?" A rush of one million emotions welled inside of her. Jay met her eyes, his face was gentle but concerned. She was sure that she looked a mess.

"Ma'am," he whispered, softly, "are you okay?"  
She patted his hand, "Thanks to _you."_

One of her agents interrupted, "Ma'am, when we reach the hospital we need to have you checked out. I'll take your pulse again, now." Elizabeth swallowed hard and complied, offering her wrist. She was surprised by how starkly white her skin was against the upholstery of the car seats.  
Elizabeth forced herself to draw a breath. She wasn't ready to ask questions. If they had news about her family, they would have shared it with her. She didn't want to talk about what had happened, about her...attack. She didn't want to hear about what Jay had done to keep her from falling away. She couldn't handle all of that just yet...

"Ma'am, they're still trying to patch you through to Stevie," Jay began cautiously, but she cut him off.

"Tell me about the baby?" she requested, leaning back against the head rest.

Jay sighed, "That was Danielle's sister. She lives in Tennessee. She's been trying to speak to Danielle all night and finally was able to get a text message sent through to her. The reception was awful and I could barely hear her but," Jay stopped to breathe, "I'm sure they'll be able to get you through soon, Ma'am." Jay's eyes were filled with tears and Elizabeth read his guilt immediately. She reached for his hand.

"The _baby,_ Jay," she reminded him mildly, the distraction was necessary as she felt the familiar prickle of emotion in her nose.  
Jay rubbed his hand over his face and nodded. "He's perfect, Ma'am. He's a beautiful, healthy seven and a half pound baby boy."

"And Danielle?" she pressed.

"She's doing great. The delivery went smoothly and as of twenty minutes ago, she and the baby were asleep."  
"Did they pick a name for him?" Elizabeth asked, blinking sleepily.  
Jay swallowed hard and was quiet for seconds before he nodded, "Yes, Ma'am." He lowered his voice so that only she could hear before he began again, "But I can't - I'll tell you later on."

Elizabeth gazed at him in weary bewilderment for a moment, before she read the answer in Jay's face.  
"His name is _Henry,_ isn't it?" she whispered, in a lilting voice.  
Jay held her hand tighter, applying pressure against her skin. "It's Danielle's father's name." Jay's dark eyes bored into her blue and when she held herself together, he gave a soft laugh. "You must have been a damn good spy, Ma'am."

Elizabeth sighed and gave a small smile, "You're an easy read, Jay. Your good heart gives you away."

Jay nodded and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze, before retreating back onto his side of the car.

They sat in reticence for as long as Elizabeth could hold off. She half-turned to look toward Jay. He was resting his head against the window but she could feel him watching her. She wanted to elucidate for him, to clarify, to calm. This man had gone above and beyond for her before, but tonight he'd done something he should never have been called upon to do.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," she whispered into the silence around them.  
"See what, Ma'am?" Jay asked, his brown eyes were shy.  
She nodded, brushing away the tears that threatened to fall. "You're much too kind, Jay."

"Ma'am, please don't worry-"  
"My parents died when I was thirteen," she interrupted, before Jay jumped in again.  
"Ma'am, I - you don't have to explain anything to-"  
"I know that," she said, "but I want to." Elizabeth sat up straighter against the seat and turned toward him.  
"My brother and I. We were so... _young_. We were passed between different family members during the summers and away in school during the year. We were always surrounded by cousins and friends but inside, we really knew we were on our own. I know my parents didn't mean to - they didn't mean to _leave_ _us_ by ourselves. It's not like they had a _choice."_ Elizabeth explained, her voice catching on a sob. "Before they died, I was the responsible kid, the one you could _count on._ Will was the reckless one, the trouble-maker, the "cool" kid. I envied him but I worried about him, all the time. Little did I know, it wasn't Will who I should have been afraid of losing," she gave a sharp exhale and continued. "Sometimes, I think if I'd worried more about my parents than about Will, that they'd still be here."  
Jay interrupted her, "Ma'am, there is no way you could have know what would happen-" but she pressed on. Jay's words were meant to be comforting she knew, but she had heard them repeated so many times that they drummed inside of her like her heartbeat.

"For years, I felt like Will was the _only_ link I had left to my parents, to our childhood. I think it became such a part of the way I am," she brushed her tears away impatiently. "This dichotomy – _acceptance_ and but also _complete...anxiety._ We were so young and we were alone. We had to make our own choices and decisions and we were _alone. I was alone._ Will - we grieved in opposite ways. I worried about everything and he - just didn't. Will _doesn't_ worry. As we got older, it just solidified those roles further for us. I threw myself into everything at school, I worked for every **A** I earned. My brother? He quit college and left for a service year in Uganda, without even telling me that he was going." Elizabeth shook her head. "We grew up and he sort of ran away from responsibilities, breaking from connections. I survived by doing the opposite, _making_ connections with people.  
But I realized that for all the connections I made with friends and teachers, I didn't let anyone _in._ Will and I - we're _identical_ in that regard. I didn't let anyone know or see or understand how much I was still struggling. How afraid I was. On the outside, everything was fine. It was perfect. I was - perfect. Top of my classes, honor roll, Dean's List. But inside, I was _always_ terrified. Always _worried_ that something would happen, that something _else_ would happen. To him, to _me...  
_ I had lots of friends at school, but I didn't let them get close. I didn't tell them anything about my private life. About why I stayed at school during Christmas break and why I couldn't wait to start summer term classes. I was so afraid to let anyone in for fear that I'd _lose them too._ But then, one day - that changed." Inexplicably, Elizabeth felt her smile tug at the edge of her mouth.

"I was sitting in the library on campus with 45 minutes to spare before my final exams. I was speed reading my copy of "History of the Ancient World," when all of a sudden there was this loud crash and it scared me so much I dropped my book. You know those heavy footstools they used to use in libraries? To reach the top shelves?" She met Jay's eyes and when he nodded, she kept going. She wasn't sure why she kept talking or where her memory was taking her down this particular path, but she pursued it. She just wanted to keep speaking. The distraction was helping soothe her ache, her fear. When the kids were home sick, she sat on their beds or on the couch for hours and told them stories like these...

"Well, I turned around and standing in the aisle behind me, rubbing his clearly bruised shin, was _this **guy.**_ With this _hair_ and these _eyes_ and - " Elizabeth gave a sad laugh through her tears. "All of a sudden, I _wanted_ everything to be different. For the first time since I was little, I _wanted_ to get to know someone and I wanted _him_ to know _me._ It was irrational and hilarious and it wasn't something I believed in - love at first sight. But anyway, I looked at him and he's limping towards me, apologizing profusely for "disturbing the peace," he picked up my book and handed it to me and said "I'm so sorry" and I said "I'm Elizabeth Adams." And he stared at me for a second with this quizzical look, but when he started to laugh, I _knew._ I just _knew._ I was a goner. _I_ was _sure_ about him. Pretty soon, I figured out he was sure about me, too." Elizabeth smiled. "I was right, he _did_ change everything. Together, we did. When we started to think about having a family, I got scared again. I just thought - if anything happens to _us_ \- but he kept reassuring me that we were going to be okay. I had spent so much of my life afraid and alone and I just- I promised myself...when Henry and I had children that I would _never let my kids to feel that way_." she finished in an tortured hush.

"They're not alone, Ma'am. They have each other. They _know_ you're on your way," Jay soothed her.

"But if something _happens_ to them-?" she stopped to take a breath, "And I wasn't _there._ What kind of _mother does that make me?_ " she whispered in anguish, the gravity of the moment causing her anxieties to tumble out.

"I'd say it makes you the kind of mother who loves her family, Ma'am. The kind of mother who would do _anything_ to change the cards dealt to her tonight. It also makes you the kind of mother who _tries._ It makes you _human._ " Elizabeth took a breath and looked over at him. She'd heard those words before.

"Listen, Ma'am. I can't pretend to know what you went through with losing your parents. I'm fortunate enough to have both my mom and dad with me. I can't pretend to know what you're going through tonight. I can only be here. I can only hope and I can only compare it to what I know. Chloe- she's our _everything._ She's got me so tightly wrapped around her little finger, I'm in trouble, Ma'am. I look at her and - and I see all that's good in this world." Jay stopped, becoming choked up.  
"As a parent, we make it our mission in life to keep our kids safe. From the moment they're handed to us, we want them to know they can count on us. But we want them to grow, Ma'am. You and Dr. McCord have raised three smart, confident, _compassionate_ kids, Ma'am. That's more difficult than it sounds and it's more than some people could ever dream of. I've never met your parents but I can say for certain they would be proud of you and of your family."

"Jay, what will it _matter?"_ she whispered desperately, "If _Henry_? Or _Allie_?..."

"Ma'am, let me tell you something. I _can't_ let you think like that. I have a feeling. Your parents might not be able to be here beside you, but I am. My nephew was born tonight and so it's a night of life, of living. A night for _miracles._ I have a feeling this isn't going to become a repeat of what happened when you were thirteen. They're still here, Ma'am. They're _all_ still here."

Jay spoke with such conviction and care for her that she _had_ to believe him. He was right. She had to think positively. Henry would tell her she had to try to pray, she had to _try._ She stifled her sob behind her hand before-

 **"Ma'am, we have Stephanie on the line for you."**


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you all so much (as always) for your continued interest and reviews. You make this so worthwhile and I love receiving your feedback. In answer to the burning question...keep reading, loves! I promise, I won't let you down. :)_

* * *

Allison kept her eyes closed. She listened to the familiar voices of her brother and sister, knowing that they thought she was asleep.

"Jas, I'm gonna go try and-"  
"Try what?"  
"Shhhh, be quiet..."  
"I'm not gonna wake her up. Don't tell me what to do."  
"Stay _here."_  
"I wanna go with you."  
"No, I need you to stay here with Al,"  
"Who are you gonna talk to?"  
"I don't know but I'll find someone-"  
"What are they gonna tell you?"

Stevie took a deep breath and Jason dove in.

"It's been hours, Stevie. Do you know how many times the nurses have come in to check on her?"  
"Seven," she shot back.  
" **Seven,** exactly!"

 _They'd been counting?..._

"We're not some dumb kids! We know about hard stuff like this!"  
"Jas is right. Remember Iran?" Allison piped up, asking the always unspoken rhetorical question and making both of them jump.  
" _You're_ supposed to be asleep!" Stevie scolded, turning her frustrations onto her.  
"Don't yell at Allie!" Jason rebuked, "She's in the _hospital!_ "  
"We're _all_ in the hospital, Jas!"

"Have there really been _seven_ nurses in here? You've counted _all night?_ " Allison continued.  
"None of them could give us information. What do you want to hear, Stevie?" Jason cried.  
"Anything!"  
"They _won't_ tell us _anything._ He might be paralyzed or in a coma. Hell, you think they'd tell us if he's already dea-"  
"Jason, _don't!"_ Stevie shrieked, interrupting him sharply. " _Don't say_ that!"

"Why can't they just tell us!?" Jason pressed on, his emotions getting the best of him.  
"I don't know, Jas! I don't know anything! I don't know _why_ they won't tell us. I don't know where _Mom_ is. I don't know _what's_ gonna happen to us. I just-" their sister stopped, taking what was supposed to be a deep breath but ended up very shallow.

" _Stevie..."_ Allison said her name gently, feeling her tears fall down her cheeks.  
"Stevie, I'm _sorry,"_ Jason apologized, realizing he and Allison had pushed too hard.  
"It's okay," Stevie said, steeling herself as she brushed their words away and her light hair behind her ear. "We're all worried. I'll be back."  
"Stevie, don't-"  
"It's okay. I'm- I'm just gonna sit out here for a few minutes."

Allison saw the look her sister shot at Jason, telling him to stay in the room.  
He threw himself into the chair beside her.  
"Should I check on her?" he spoke up nervously, after a few moments.  
"No," Allison replied simply, knowing their sister needed time.  
Ironically, _time_ was the exact commodity she wasn't sure they had.  
"Were you really asleep?" he asked.  
"No," she answered again, shaking her head.  
"I didn't think so," Jason said thoughtfully, glancing at her in a way that reminded her so much of their father that it hurt.

* * *

 **" _Dad..."_**

 _He was five, covered in frosting and beaming for his mother and her camera while his cousins sang "Happy Birthday."_

 _He was seven. Standing in the outfield, he didn't have to look up into the stands to know his father was there. He could hear him shouting at the umpire. His team wasn't even up to bat. He felt his cheeks burn and put his head down._

 _He was eight. "What do you want to be when you grow up, Henry?" his Uncle asked him across the table.  
"I wanna fly airplanes. I wanna be a pilot." He responded immediately. His brow furrowed at the laughter of his father and the Uncle.  
He pressed on, trying to correct himself, to find an answer they would deem acceptable.  
"I might be a fireman. Tommy says he's thinkin' about being a policeman. Maybe we could work together..." His mother's reassuring touch on his shoulder.  
"You don't want to work at the Steel Mill like your old man?" His Uncle asked.  
 **"No,"** the sure answer escaping from his lips before he could stop himself. He saw his father's angry look and he stole into the kitchen before anyone said another word._

* * *

Stevie slipped onto a bench halfway down the hall. She pulled her knees up to the chest and held herself, like she had when she had been frightened as a little girl.  
They were right. Allison and Jason. She'd been trying so hard to protect them all night that she'd numbed the truth about why they were here. She'd gone for more blankets and brought back awful tasting hot chocolate.  
She'd tried to make it as if they were settled on the couch for a movie night while Mom and Dad were out on a date. Her brother and sister were always strong. It was something Stevie admired, and sometimes loathed, about them both. She'd been trying to be steady for them, she forgot they had their own strength. They were all experiencing the same night in different ways and coping to the best of their abilities, under the circumstances. But they were right, they had to be given some information quickly. The growing uncertainty was beginning to splinter their solid foundation, the same way the glass from the car had shattered like raindrops out over the fresh snow.

* * *

 ** _"Daddy?"_**

 _"Tag! You're it!" He was ten. The sun was warm and the Atlantic was cold as it nipped at his heels, he chased Shane through the water. His mother's sweet laughter over the cacophony of the waves,"You're getting so fast, Henry!" She held a small Erin as Maureen splashed in the wake nearby._

 _He was eleven. The fresh air ruffling his hair and his dark green windbreaker, the ground speeding by beneath him on his bicycle._

* * *

Allison pressed her head back against the white pillows before she turned to look at him.  
"What if we try to call Uncle Will?"  
"I thought of that," Jason replied, threading his fingers through a hole at the end of Allison's blanket. "The cell service is shot, Al. That's why we can't get in touch with Mom."  
"Do we even know where she _is?"_ Allison asked, tenuously.  
Jason was sure the look on his face gave her the answer she didn't want to hear before he spoke, "Not yet."  
"So, we're on our own?"  
"No," Stevie answered shyly, from the doorway. "We're together _._ "


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's note: Thank you, thank you for your continued interest and reviews._

* * *

 **"Dad! Dad..."**

* * *

 _He was twelve. Soaked to the bone and numb. He couldn't keep his teeth from chattering, his hands from shaking. The raw morning had dawned, filled with the promise of another full day on the pond.  
His friends raucous voices.  
"He shoots, he _**_scores!_** _"  
The blades of their skates carving shallow tracks into the ice.  
_ ** _"Another_** _goal for the Pittsburgh Penguins!"  
The sound of their hockey sticks slapping against the glass surface. He had turned around, toward Brian's goal, to see his best friend...  
"Tommy! C'mon! Show 'em what you've got!"  
Skating just beyond the lines of their rink, getting a fast start. He was right _**_there._** _Then the terrible cracking sound._

 _"_ ** _Tommy_** _!"  
The panic.  
"_ ** _Tommy_** _!"  
Peter throwing off his skates and running for help. They could hear him yelling down the block.  
Slipping to his hands and knees he started to crawl toward where Tommy had gone in. He'd be _**_right_** **_there_** _, wouldn't he? He'd come_ ** _right_** **_back_** **_up._** _Why wasn't he_ ** _answering_** _them? Why couldn't he_ ** _hear_** _them?  
John's older brother ordering all of them them to stay back as he moved, as if in slow motion, toward the gaping hole in the ice. Max racing along the bank, trying to lower his hockey stick into the water.  
"_ ** _Tommy_** _!"  
Jimmy's Dad running out of the house toward them. A scream.  
"_ ** _Tommy_** _!"  
Peter's father's car pulling up, with a loud screech. Tommy's father, jumping out of the passenger side. Terrified voices growing louder.  
"_ ** _Tommy_** _!" Another scream.  
"_ ** _Tommy_** _!" Someone was crying. A siren sliced through the bitter air.  
"_ ** _Henry_** _,_ ** _stop!_** _" Brian's father's strong grip on his jacket, pulling him back. Fighting against the hold before sinking to the frigid ground.  
His mother's panicked voice ringing in his ears. He hadn't realized it was he who had been screaming himself hoarse until he felt her arms wrap around him._

* * *

 **"Daddy?!"**

* * *

 _Her soft hands were cold as she held his face in her palms. Her gentle brown eyes full of dismay, "Henry, promise me_ ** _right_** **_now._** _No matter what happens you'll keep your_ ** _eyes_** **_closed..."_** _she whispered, frantically. She held him against herself as she steered him along the frozen bank.  
More voices. The ambulance arriving. Then _**_the scream._** _The scream that could only have come from Tommy's mother.  
He moved to look back, to turn around. His own mother pressing his face against her chest, holding him tightly.  
His mother held him.  
She held him as they went into the house, as she sat him in the kitchen, as she pulled off his soaking coat and wrapped him in a warm towel. She pressed a kiss to his forehead before running upstairs to start a warm bath. From far away, he heard the telephone ringing.  
Small Erin running into the kitchen to answer, her light eyes growing wide at the sight of him seated there.  
"Mommy! It's for you!" His mother hurrying back down the steps.  
"Somebody's crying," he heard his sister whisper anxiously, as she passed the phone to their mother. He didn't need to move his gaze from the floor to know._

* * *

 **"Daddy, please! Don't die! _"_**

* * *

 _He was twelve, shivering in bed, despite the extra blanket, as he listened to the sound of his parents' raised voices.  
"He can't just mope around."  
"Patrick, he's doing the _**_best_** _he can. What do you want from him? He's a little boy who lost his best friend less than 48 hours ago!"_

* * *

" **Dad. Daddy, what do I do?"**

* * *

 _He was twelve when he buried his closest friend, when he waited until dark to walk home from the church so that no one would see his tears.  
When he met his mother waiting up for him in the living room, when he fell against her, and hiding his face in her shoulder, he sobbed.  
His mother, steady, as his emotion wracked her slender body. It wasn't until many minutes later that he realized she was crying, too. Her soothing voice was heavy with tears, "It's okay, Henry. It's going to be okay. I love you so much."_

 _He was twelve, sobbing into the hot water of the shower for exactly twenty six days afterward.  
His father's dismissal echoing in his ears. "Boys don't cry, son. Pull yourself together, Henry. It's time to move on."_

 _Twelve, on that early Sunday morning, kneeling behind the altar, when Father Joseph held the host in his hands and said "Do this in remembrance of me."  
He felt Father Joseph's gentle gaze pass over him, but he kept his head ruthlessly bowed, his eyes fixed on the floor. The silence ringing throughout the church.  
When he sat in the pew after mass, the still and empty church mimicking his broken heart. The quiet.  
He'd heard the words of the liturgy every Sunday for as long as he could remember, but did they mean anything now? How could they mean anything now that Tommy was-? _

" _It's okay, Henry. God goes silent on us all."_ _Father Joseph's gentle reassurance, his understanding, his promise._

 _"It's okay, Henry. God goes silent on us all."_

 _He looked up for the first time in four weeks, into the gentle gaze of a world-weary but faith-filled man. Blinking back tears, he shook the Father's hand and blessed himself with the sign of the cross. His head held high, he walked outside into the early morning sun._

* * *

 **"It's gonna be okay, Dad..."**

* * *

 _He was thirteen. Christmas morning, surrounded by his brother and sisters and cousins. Colorful wrapping paper flying through the air, rambunctious laughter. The new football he'd longed for tucked safely under his arm._

 _"Mom, where did you go to school?"  
His mother bustling around in the kitchen, "I went to Nursing school in Allentown after I graduated from high school. I became a registered nurse and I worked at the hospital near Nanna's old house."  
She glanced at him, leaning against the counter. As if she could read his thoughts, she continued, "Your Dad didn't go to college because his father didn't go to college. He just followed in his dad's footsteps."  
"Like he wants me to do." sighing, heavily.  
His mother smiled, brushing her pinned auburn waves away from her cheek. "We all know what your father wants, Henry. There hasn't been a day in our marriage that he hasn't made that clear. But you and I know that sometimes life doesn't work like that. We don't always get what it is that we want."_

 _"Can I go to college?" the question slipped from his mouth before he could stop himself. He'd been wondering for so long. His mother's dark eyes were suddenly glossy with tears. She pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Her hands covered in baking flour._  
 _"Of **course** , you can go to college. You can do anything, Henry. You have a smart head on those shoulders and a good heart. You keep God close to you and you can do anything you set your mind to."  
"Do we have the money, Mom?" His mother standing at the sink, squaring her shoulders, looking over at him. "You let your father and I worry about money, all right? You just keep doing well in school and everything will work out. You'll see."  
"You think I could get a scholarship or something?"  
His mother smiled, "I think it's worth a try."  
"You think Dad'll be disappointed in me?" She dropped the sponge into the soapy water.  
"I can't think of anything in the world that **should** make him prouder. I can't speak for him, but you are __**our**_ _son. Anything that you want to do to better yourself or to help yourself in the future is positive in my eyes, Henry. I'll do anything to help you, hon."  
Patting his mother's back, "Thanks Mom." He left the kitchen just before his father walked through the back door._

* * *

 **"Dad, I'm gonna go for help. I'm gonna find someone who can help us."**

* * *

 _He was fourteen. The clock in the kitchen read 1:24am. His science project lay completed on the counter top, his exhausted head lay against his arms. His brother tapping his shoulder, "Go to bed. I think the galaxy will still be here in the morning."_

 _Fourteen. Shane and Maureen fighting over the bathroom, the television, the radio. He kept turning the pages of his books and tuning them out._

 _He was fifteen. The big game was on the television. Cheering loudly with Peter and John. Erin ran in and out of the room with her cheer pom poms, singing the Victory March, "Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame, wake up the echos cheering her name..."  
_

 _Fifteen, Honor roll at school. "Dad, I made the honor roll. All A's and one B."  
"How did everyone else do?" He was saved from answering by the phone's ring._

 _Sixteen, passing his driver's test on the first try. His mother's excited smile.  
"I got my license today, Dad."  
_" _How many times did you take the test?" his father hadn't looked up from the newspaper.  
"Just once. First try."  
_" _Don't take the car without my permission."  
"Yes sir."  
"Don't wreak it."  
"No, sir, I won't."  
"Can I get a ride to practice tomorrow?" Shane piped up.  
_" _Don't think this means you can ride around picking up girls to mess around with-"  
_ " _Patrick! Don't you know your son at **all?"** His mother's shrill cry stopped him from a reply that was sure to get him into trouble._

* * *

 **"Dad, Daddy, I'm gonna go out and get help."**

* * *

 _Sixteen. Clearing his throat as he walked into the living room. His father on the couch, his mother in the rocking chair, Erin on the floor skimming a magazine. Baseball on the television. "Dad, Mom can I- can I talk to you?"  
"Erin, go upstairs. Your brother's probably in trouble."  
"Patrick!"  
He was tired, he didn't know how his mother didn't tire of her attempts to change his father.  
Erin, peeking at him around the wall, from her hiding place on the steps.  
Without preamble, "I'm gonna go to college-"  
"We can't afford it-"  
"Let him finish-"  
"I'm gonna go to college and I found a way to pay for it. I'm gonna join the ROTC. I'm gonna apply for their scholarship and if I get it, then I'm in."  
"The ROTC? Then, what branch?"  
"The Navy, so I can go into the Marine Corp. The air wing. I wanna fly planes," He felt eight years old again.  
His mother nodding encouragingly. His father's shrug. "If you can get in, be my guest. They don't give scholarships to just anyone."  
"Good thing our son's not just anyone," his mother's faith in him making him grin._

* * *

 **"Dad, we're gonna be okay."**

* * *

 _Sitting with Frank in the kitchen, going over his application for the ninth time. "It looks real good, Henry. Religious Studies. It's pretty unique. They might go for it. Those committees love that kind of thing. Of course, I'm in engineering but they're always looking for diversity."_

University of Pittsburgh, Duquesne University, Carnegie Mellon, University of Virginia.

 _"Virginia? What's in Virginia?"_  
 _"It's a good school, Dad. Their program is ranked real high."_  
 _"You'll pay out of state tuition."_  
 _"If I get the scholarship I won't have to worry about tuition, Dad."_

 _Sending in his application. Showing up at the Navy recruitment office every day for two solid months.  
"Hi, I'm-"  
"Hey there, Henry McCord,"  
They knew him by name. _

_"You took my sweater!"  
"Why would I want your sweater? It wouldn't fit me!"  
"You always take my stuff!"  
"That's not true. I don't take anything!"  
His sisters' screaming at each other, his brother turning up the volume on the TV.  
"Girls! **Stop** right now! Maureen, **don't** push her! Shane, **turn** that down! Henry, **phone!"**_

 _Walking into the kitchen and meeting his father's eye, as he took the phone from the dish towel his mother had laid it on to stifle the commotion.  
"Henry, this is Dr. Robert Henson. I'm the head of the Naval ROTC program at Carnegie Mellon University..."  
"Yes, sir." He knew the man's name well. He'd worn the writing off the business card he'd received at the recruitment office.  
"Henry, I wanted to thank for applying for the program and I'd like to congratulate you on being chosen as a recipient of one of our scholarships."  
He couldn't speak, turning away from his father's scrutiny, stretching the cord as far into the living room as he could go and clearing the lump in his throat.  
"Really? Thank you, sir. Thank you." He kept his face impassive, hanging up the phone.  
Erin sitting on the counter top, swinging her legs against the cabinet, "What'd they say?"  
His mother holding the towel to her mouth to keep herself from making noise. When he met her dark eyes, he laughed in relief, cutting through the tension in the room, "That was Dr. Henson from CMU. I got it. I got the scholarship."  
The invitation to the open house came two days later._

 _Walking around campus with his parents and Erin, his father nit-picking the class sizes, the dorm rooms, the dining hall food.  
Looking around anxiously, trying to figure out of he could __**fit**_ _here. He knew some of his buddies from school would end up here. People packed the common areas. Traffic honked right on the edge of campus. The buildings were tall and new. It wouldn't be so bad..._

 _Laying in bed later that night, mulling the day over in his mind.  
In the darkness of his bedroom, he let himself admit what had been bothering him since he got the call.  
He wasn't sure he wanted to stay here. He wasn't sure he wanted to go to school so close to home. To stay in Pittsburgh.  
If he was being completely honest, he was afraid his father would get to him before he could finish his freshman year and try to convince him to quit and work with him in the steel mill. Restless._

He stayed silent and thoughtful for a week.  
"Mom. I don't think I can go to Carnegie Mellon," he announced, as they walked home from church. His father, half a block ahead. Maureen, with some boy she'd been out with. Erin, chattering excitedly to her friends. Shane, racing a school mate down the sidewalk.  
"Henry," she said his name lightly, like his proclamation wasn't the end of the world. "It's all right. We still have time to wait to hear from your other schools. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to decide right this minute."  
"I don't have a lotta options, Mom. I'm crazy if I turn this down, right?" his voice rising with his misgivings.

 _"You're **not** crazy, Henry. You're worried. You're uncertain and you have every right to be. This is what growing up is all about. But be patient, all right? For **me,** Henry," when she saw the exasperated look on his face.  
"Give it a few more weeks, okay? And while you're at it, give your worry to God. That smart brain of yours won't do you any good if you're bogged down with anxiety, hon."_

 _That was his mother's advice, "Give it to God, Henry." He could almost predict it was coming before the words left her lips. Regardless of how many times he heard them, it didn't make them easier to swallow or untrue. If there was one thing he knew, it was that his mother was_ _ **always**_ _right. He'd have to wait._

 _Seventeen. The final game of the season. He could hear his mother cheering through the pounding of the rain on his helmet. Brian caught the ball.  
Running at the other team and tackling the biggest guy he could before they got to Brian. He saw Brian go and go and - he didn't feel his ankle break. He felt Kevin's hands slapping his back, he heard Peter's elated yells, felt the rest of his team's excitement. The scene before him, the crowd rushing on to the field, screaming in happiness, the rain making the night glisten.  
His sisters screaming the team's praises. His mother weeping with happiness.  
Sitting in the locker room, the trainer taking a look at his broken ankle, Brian pressed the football into his grasp, "That one was for Tommy." That night, he felt sure that his best friend knew it, too._

 _Seventeen, in the passenger seat beside John on the way to the basketball game. Laughing at a bad joke Max had just told. Peter, singing along loudly to the radio station. Blushing, as the girls flirted endlessly with each of them. Getting the guts to tell Megan Pierson that she had the prettiest eyes he'd ever seen. He meant it. Until he saw Elizabeth's.  
_

 _Seventeen, walking out to the mailbox on an early Saturday morning. Two bills, a card, his cousin's wedding invitation, a newsletter from the church for his mother, and_

 _TO: Mr. Henry McCord_

FROM: _Navy ROTC Unit_  
 _PO Box 3435_  
 _Marriot Drive_  
 _Charlottesville, VA._

* * *

 **"I'm gonna go for help, Dad."** _  
_

* * *

 _"Can we take a drive to Virginia?"  
"What's in Virginia?" Erin asked, adding half the bag of chocolate chips to her pancakes.  
His mother, dropping the fork she was holding, her face bright with excitement. "You better tell me right now, Henry Patrick McCord, before you give me heart failure!"  
Laughing, as he handed the letter to his mother, watching her weep with joy as she read it.  
"Mom, don't cry. It's okay." He was embarrassed.  
"I'm happy, Henry. Let your mother be happy for you!"  
Kissing her cheek, ruffling Erin's hair, and stealing a handful of chocolate chips._

 _Green. The campus was green. There was more air, more room than he was used to in the city. He turned to look at his mother and she was holding up her camera, snapping his photo.  
"Mom!?"  
His father nit-picking the campus, the classrooms, the professors, the work load, the dorms, the dining hall, the drive. This time felt better. He felt confident, he felt sure...there was just something about this place._

 _Getting out of the car in the drive way, his father's complaints couldn't sway his foundation.  
"What do you think, Mom?"  
"I want to know what you think, hon."  
"I like it. A lot. Really I do. I think – I think it's right."  
Catching the smile on her face. "What, Mom? What do you think?"  
"I think you __**fit**_ _there, Henry. You already look like you fit."_

 _The letter fell out of his suitcase..._

 _Henry,  
Two nights ago, you sat with me in the kitchen, helping me to finish the cake for Maureen's party.  
Your eyes were so bright. You have been so full of excitement. Rightly so.  
My son is going to college. I am so proud of you, Henry. You have worked so hard for this chance. You are the best, most intelligent, most passionate, kindest, most honest young man I know. I am so proud of the person that you are and the man that you are growing up to be.  
You have a strong faith, Henry and that will sustain you through anything.  
I know that you are the only one of my children who humors me in all of my church-going, but there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing you come down those stairs into the kitchen dressed so handsomely in your Sunday clothes, telling me you want to go with me to Mass.  
_

 _You asked me the other night, how you got so lucky. You said how could a poor city kid like you end up with all of this? I had to hide my tears from you because I love you so much. Henry. It's all supposed to be happening this way, Henry. That's all I can tell you. It's your faith and your trust that you will be taken care of. Don't ever be afraid, Henry. I will do anything for you, so will your father, believe it or not. You can come to us with anything and we will do our best to help you. Be the strong, brave, young man you are. I would tell you to stay humble but you already have too much humility for your own good. I wish you'd give some to your sister! You are one of my greatest gifts as a mother. You will always, always be my son (no matter how old you are.)  
Now, go out there and find your life. I love you, Henry.  
_

 _Proudly and With All of my Love,  
Mom_

* * *

 **Dad, we're gonna be okay.** _  
_


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Thank you all so much for your continued support and reviews. I know I sound like a broken record but your readership means so much to me. You are all awesome!

* * *

The night wore on, the snow continued to drift outside the window and the hallways of the hospital grew quiet. The pain medication had lulled Allison into a light sleep and Jason was resting his head on his arms at the foot of her bed.  
Stevie prayed he had fallen asleep too, but when she reached out to gently rub his head, she could feel him trembling.  
"Jas," she whispered his name. "I've been thinking. What you did earlier? With the computer?"  
Her brother hid his face from her. "You think Dad would be disappointed in me?" he asked her hoarsely. Stevie knew that only the quiet of this moment could force such an emotional question from her brother's lips.  
 **"No,"** she answered him with certainty, her light eyes meeting his. "I was gonna say it's what _he_ _would_ have done. Dad would have done the same thing for any of us. You know he would be going stir crazy waiting for information." She got up and touched her brother's back, before walking across the small room to look out the window.  
" _Stevie_ ," she heard him whisper and she turned to look. Jason nodded toward the door where a nurse stood, looking at Allison's chart.

* * *

 _Seventeen. He'd been dreading this weekend for the entire month. It would be afternoon before everyone arrived. Erin had answered the phone when he had called on Wednesday. "My recital is on Saturday. Mom's taping it for you..."  
Holding his breath, as his father walked toward him from the parking lot.  
_" _Hi Dad."  
"Henry."  
Walking back through his dorm, breezing past the common area, ducking his head as his father kept up a steady stream of criticism.  
"Hey Henry!"  
Grimacing as his classmates and their families spotted them, "Hi guys, I'll -uh, I'll see ya later."_

 _He'd buried the flier for the dinner deep inside the garbage can._  
 **  
 _"This place is small. Where are you supposed to put anything?"_**  
 _"It's all right, Dad. I don't need that much room."_  
 _ **"This bed is hard as a rock. How do you sleep?"**_  
 _"You get used to it."_  
 _ **"There's no hot water? Good thing I'm not paying for this."**_  
 _"I heard the other hall isn't a whole lot better. I get ready pretty fast anyway."_  
 _ **"They probably threw you in here 'cause you're a scholarship kid."**_  
 _"It's not so bad, Dad. It's quiet most nights and there's some good guys here."_  
 _ **"Their fathers must be big businessmen to pay for all of this. How many kids have you met on scholarship like you?"**_  
 _Swallowing hard, the truth was he hadn't told anyone he was here on a scholarship. Somehow it made him feel like he wasn't as worthy as the other students to be here. "Uh, a couple of 'em."_  
 _Unable to meet his father's eye, sure he'd been caught in a lie._

 _The afternoon dragged on. His classrooms were "dusty and too small." His teachers graded "too harshly," his literature paper for which he'd earned an A- was clearly "a waste of his time."  
The line to stroll through the new sports complex was "too long." His hands were perspiring in the chill of the late September evening.  
Counting the minutes in his mind until the dinner began.  
"Dad, you wanna go grab something to eat? There's a nice place a couple streets off campus."  
"Do you eat enough? The food here probably tastes like it came from a hospital cafeteria."  
Shrugging, "We'll go to the sandwich shop, it's good."  
Walking fast along the tree lined sidewalk, "We just have to cross over three more-"_

 _Turning left and out into the green commons area, the excited buzz of voices,_  
 _ **"Dad -** Dad, let's go this way!"_  
 _His classmates and their fathers meandering into the hall, dressed sharply for dinner._  
 _The banner, hung high above the doors._  
 _"Dad-" Stealing a glance at his father._  
 _Confusion, anger, disappointment..._  
 _His father turned without looking at him and walked away._  
 _"Dad-"_  
 _"Did you want to go to that, Henry?"_  
 _"Go to what?" trying to keep the trembling out of his voice._  
 _"That dinner."_  
 _"I didn't know about it, Dad. I must have missed the announcement."_

 _It was the longest he'd ever have to wait for a cold cut sandwich in his life.  
His father's hurt gaze dogged him across the table.  
_  
 _"Dad, I'm sorry."_  
 _"You did know about it."_  
 _Nodding.  
_ " _You lied to me."  
Nodding, his head bowed.  
"I just didn't want you to feel like you had to go with me. I wasn't real sure I wanted to go." _

" _What else haven't you told me, Henry? Are you failing any classes yet?"  
Staying still and quiet as he let his father tear him apart.  
"No sir."  
"You just tell us when you come to your senses and want to come home and go to work."_

 _His father left right after dinner, driving back to Pittsburgh before the sun had even set.  
Wiping his tears on his jacket sleeve, invisible in the dark, as he walked slowly back to his dorm._

* * *

"Hi, you're Stephanie?" The blonde girl walked quickly toward her and beckoned for her younger brother to follow. In the dim light of the hallway, she could see their resemblance to their sister.  
"I'm-" she started, but stopped abruptly when Stephanie threw herself into her arms.

" _Stevie_?" her brother said her name, bewildered.  
"Oh," the nurse laughed quietly, "It's okay, sweetie." She hugged her close.  
"I'm sorry it took me so long to get back up here. I'm Mary. I'm-"

" _You're the one who called m_ _e_ ," Stephanie finished for her, her blue eyes full of tears.  
Mary nodded, "And you're Jason?"

She felt so strange to be introducing herself to these two children when she felt like she already knew them. She'd spent years of her life caring for sick and injured patients but nothing could come close to what she experienced with their sister tonight.

"Thank you," Stephanie said breathlessly, her tears falling down her cheeks. "We can't thank you enough for-for _her_ ," she whispered, nodding toward Allison's room. Mary touched her hand. "Oh, honey. Don't thank me. I'm just doing my job."

Mary moved her gaze to Jason's face, his brow was furrowed in consternation.  
"Do you know anything about our Dad?" he asked her, his voice was heavy with anxiety. Mary reached out to touch his arm. "I'm afraid I don't, but I can find someone who does. Let me make a call for you, okay? In the meantime, are you all right here? Can I get you anything to eat or drink?"  
She took in their pale, anxious faces and shook her head, corrected herself.

"Of course not. You're worried sick. Let me see what I can find out for you. I'll be _right_ _back_ ," she said. A thought struck Mary and she doubled back, glancing into the room. Stephanie was seated by the bed, and was dabbing her tears with a tissue. Jason stood against the wall and Allison was sound asleep. She didn't see their mother and for a moment she debated asking them if everything was okay. She knew their mother as the Secretary of State, a job that required guts and fortitude. Right then, she couldn't imagine anyone who would be prouder of the bravery shown by these children.

She moved a few steps down the hallway when she heard her name. She turned to see Jason, following her. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked him and then mentally kicked herself, the kid was almost as old as her son and here she was calling him "sweetheart." Jason didn't seem to notice or mind.  
"Mary, sorry. Do you think I could get a blanket? For Stevie?" With that she realized that no matter what happened tonight, she would make sure these children were taken care of. She felt as if she'd been entrusted with them, if only for a short time. As she reached into a linen closet and handed Jason a light pink blanket, he thanked her and then hurried back to his sisters.

* * *

 _Twenty. "Do you guys know who that is?"  
"The blonde, again?" Dave smirked, exasperated.  
_" _Hey. Cool it," he bantered.  
"He's been studying for this exam all semester. We're minutes from it and he chooses **now** to go talk to the girl of his dreams, who he saw for the first time hours ago..." Brett whispered dramatically.  
Rolling his eyes at his friends, making his way toward the aisle nearest to the alcove where she was studying.  
She'd been in the same spot for the last two days. He'd noticed her on Sunday night. He was sure he'd never seen her before - he would have remembered a girl who was that beautiful. She'd been engrossed in a heavy tome, as she was now._

 _The last thing he wanted to do was disturb her – **bang.  
** His shin colliding with the heavy metal stool. He could hear Dave's laughter all the way over here.  
The blonde girl jumping at the sound, her book slipping from her slack grasp._

 _Limping toward her, feeling his face flush, his chances with her flying out the window. The least he could do was to pick up her book..."I am so sorry."_  
 _Early May sunlight tangling in her golden hair, "I'm Elizabeth Adams."_  
 _The most perfect cerulean eyes he'd ever seen, forgetting his own name..._

 _"Are you okay?" her voice was soft and her cheeks were blushing pink, for some reason beyond his understanding. **He** was the one making a fool out of himself. Standing there for a moment more before realizing he was staring at her, laughing with embarrassment._  
 _"Yeah, thanks. Gotta watch my step."_

 _Her smile, "I've done the same thing. Those stools are heavier than they look."  
Nodding, "They are. Sorry about that, **again."** Turning to walk away, shaking his head at how ridiculous he must look to her... **  
**  
"Frozen peas."  
Doubling back, "I'm sorry?"  
"You'll probably be black and blue. Frozen peas will help with the bruising," she was clarifying for him. She was still talking to him after he'd made a racket, slammed his shin into an ancient heavy footstool, interrupted her, and made her lose her place in her book...by some strange miracle, this gorgeous girl, **Elizabeth Adams,** kept talking to him..._

 _Laughing out of sheer confusion, "Thanks."  
Catching sight of the front of her history book, "Are you studying to become a doctor?"  
Her laughter was sweet, "No, but I grew up on a horse farm. Lots of bumps and bruises."  
"Oh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind. I'm-"  
"Damn it!" jumping up and tossing her books into her bag. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna be late for my test."_

 _Test._  
 _Final Exam._

 _"Oh God, me too!"_  
 _Grabbing his bag, berating himself for losing track of the time. He was late, worse he'd made **her** late...he'd probably never see her again... Dave and Brett had left._  
 _Looking up, there she was, holding the door for him..."Thanks!"_  
 _"Good luck, Stranger."_  
 _ **Oh!** "I'm Henry – Henry McCord."_  
 _"Good luck, Henry McCord."_  
 _"You too, Elizabeth!"_  
 _Her resulting smile was enough to send him head over heels. Running the rest of the way to class and falling into his seat beside Dave just as their professor walked through the door._  
 _Dave's girlfriend, Kate, tapping his shoulder and whispering, "Did you meet her?"_  
 _Knowing his bashful grin was the only answer she needed._

* * *

"Stephanie?" Michael's voice made all three of them jump. _"It's okay,"_ Stevie whispered to her brother and sister.  
Jason reached for Allison's hand as Stevie stepped outside the room.  
Michael took a few steps down the hall and motioned for her to follow him.  
"We're still working to get you through to your Mom. The roads are too dangerous for us to get you home any time soon. We're going to set you and Jason up here for the night to sleep in Allison's room. In the mean time, since you the only one of legal age, are you able to speak with the doctor?"  
Stevie felt her heartbeat shoot into her throat. "Yes, do they know anything-?" she stopped short at the sight of an older gentleman in a white lab coat walking toward her.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Thank you (as _**always)**_ for your continued interest and reviews.

* * *

" _Earth to Henry. Come in, McCord..."  
"Sorry, what?" jerking his head up to see his mother and Erin, wearing matching smiles.  
Erin's contagious giggles, their mother trying to keep a straight face.  
"I know! I know the drill!" Erin cried, hopping off the counter, they could hear her dashing up the stairs. _

" _When do I get to meet her, Henry?"  
"Who?"  
His mother's turn to laugh, "The young lady?"  
"Soon."  
"Does she have a name?" his mother's voice was gentle, playful.  
Unable to contain his smile, "Elizabeth."  
"Elizabeth McCord? That sounds kinda pretty!" Erin piped up, from her hiding place on the stairs._

* * *

"Were you all by yourself?" Jason asked, his soft voice bringing Allison out of her anxious reverie. She looked up at her brother, his eyes were wide and full of concern.  
 _The car, the cold, the snow, the ambulance._  
She wasn't ready to tell anyone about what had happened before she got to the hospital.  
She wasn't sure she'd ever be ready.  
She was quiet and then settled for the simplest answer, the one she felt most willing to give. She didn't want Jason to be afraid. She nodded yes, "For about an hour, I think. Before you guys got here."  
"Were you scared?" Jason asked, and Allison was reminded of when they were small.

* * *

" _C'mon! You gotta tell me something about her! Otherwise, I'll assume she's mean like Bill's new girlfriend."  
"She's not mean."  
"Erin, leave your brother alone."  
"C'mon, Henry. Pleeeeaseee? Just a couple questions?"  
"Okay, shoot."  
"Brunette or blonde?"  
"Blonde."  
"Tall or short?"  
"Petite."  
"Like as tall as Mom?"  
Surveying his mother, as she stood at the sink...  
"Yeah, Mom's a little taller."  
"What color are her eyes?"  
"Really blue."_

* * *

When they were younger, they were always frightened of monsters hiding in the dark beneath their beds. Their father would conduct his nightly routine of checking each closet, under-bed space, and cubby hole for monsters.  
He never did find a single one, but that didn't stop little Jason from asking, _"Aren't you scared, Dad?"_  
Henry would always laugh and scoop Jason up to sit him on his shoulders, _"Hey buddy, help me check the closet for monsters. All clear, Bud?"_

She thought about how perceptive her brother was and how sure she was that he knew everything she was withholding.  
Allison felt Jason's hand cover hers once more. She nodded in answer and he put a comforting arm around her.

"Jas," she breathed, a sudden thought striking her. "Do you think we should say a prayer or something?"  
She felt Jason nod against her shoulder. "It's what Dad would want," he told her.  
Allison closed her eyes and gripped her brother's hand tighter.  
It wasn't often that she spoke to God, but she knew their father did so all the time.  
"What do you wanna say, Al?" Jason asked her, his voice hushed.  
"The _Our Father_?" Allison replied, the words spilling from her mouth. It was the first prayer that came to her mind and the first that Henry had taught them as children. She heard her brother's voice beside her own, as they spoke the words of the prayer.  
When they were finished, Allison whispered, " _Please. Please. If you could help our Dad..."_ she felt weak and hypocritical asking for something as important as their father's life, when she didn't really pray often at all. She felt strange, asking for such a miracle.

She struggled to take a breath, brushing tears away from her cheeks, "Dad says The _Our Father_ is the Universal-"  
"Prayer of Protection," Jason finished for her, understanding.  
They were quiet for a long time before- "Al, I think God or somebody's gotta be listening..." Allison looked at him, curiously.  
"I mean, _you're_ here, aren't you?" Jason whispered, thoughtfully.

* * *

 _Holding her hand the entire drive to Pittsburgh. Singing along to the radio, making her laugh.  
Elizabeth, falling asleep.  
Glancing over at the passenger seat every chance he got. Her blonde hair was strewn across her cheek, her head resting on his scarf that he'd bunched up and handed across to her. Silently praying for the strength to get them through this weekend without any catastrophes.  
Waiting to wake her, after turning onto his street.  
Irrationally, wanting to turn the car around and go back to Virginia. They could have Thanksgiving together, just the two of them...  
Maneuvering the car into a parallel spot and turning off the engine.  
Looking over at Elizabeth, she was sound asleep. Taking a deep breath and pressing a kiss to her temple. "Babe, we're here."  
Elizabeth stirring slowly, her big blue eyes blinking sleepily at him. "You ready?" she asked with a soft smile.  
Rolling his eyes and giving a low groan, "They haven't spotted us yet. There's still time to make a break for it-"  
Her pealing laughter fillied the car.  
Keeping his expression as serious as he could, but only half-joking with her. "You're still gonna love me after this, right?"  
Elizabeth's giggles as she leaned close, kissing his cheek and opening the door. She fixed his scarf around her neck, and stepped out into the November evening air. "Relax, Henry. It's gonna take more than this to get rid of me."_

 _The sound of the front door opening, "Hi, hi, hi!" Erin's excited cries._  
 _He hadn't even gotten around the passenger side of the car before his mother had Elizabeth enveloped in her arms. "Elizabeth, sweetheart! It is so good to see you!"_  
 _Meeting his mothers eyes, alight with the sweetest of emotions..._

 _He wouldn't fully understand until years later..._

* * *

"Stephanie McCord," the doctor said in a gentle voice. It wasn't a question and for a moment Stevie wondered how he knew who she was.  
"I'm Doctor Andrews. I've been caring for your father."  
He lead Stevie to a small seating area off to the side of hallway and gestured for her to sit down, but she couldn't move her legs.  
"Dr. Andrews, please-" she started, when the Doctor stood up and placed his hand tenderly on her arm.

* * *

 _"I'm gonna say "yes," you know." Elizabeth, announcing over breakfast one morning._  
 _"What, babe?"_ _Looking up from the Sports section, expecting to meet her eyes but instead found himself gazing at the front page of the newspaper, completely obscuring her from his view._  
 _Grinning, as he stood and peeked over the top of her half of the paper. Her eyes never leaving the print._ _"What were you saying, Liz?"_  
 _"When you ask me, I'm going to say **yes."**_

 _Watching Elizabeth's face hold the most radiant smile he'd ever seen. The sun's rays played over her hair, making her golden locks shimmer against her white dress.  
Trying not to cry at the realization that he'd be able to wake up beside her, every morning for the rest of his life.  
_

 _His plane going down during Desert Storm. Losing two of his best men that day._ _  
324 letters they wrote to each other. The box in the attic still held every last one._

 _Elizabeth, draped across his lap, asleep. Rocking the light pink bassinet with his foot, as he finished readings for the next day's lecture.  
_  
 _Small Stevie's serious discussions with Elizabeth swollen stomach, "When you get here we can have a tea party. You gotta wear the purple princess dress 'cause the pink one's my favorite."_

 _"Daddy, can we have some ice cream?" His oldest daughter had inherited her mother's sweet tooth, "Please, pleaseeee?"_  
 _Laughing, "Darlin', it's not even noon!" Elizabeth had created a monster...  
_  
 _His two year old, violet barrettes in her dark hair, sitting on the floor, playing against his feet.  
Stevie singing the song from "Little Mermaid" out in the hallway.  
Elizabeth wore one of his old t-shirts as she cleaned up in the bathroom. She had caught him watching her more than once that morning, "What's goin' on?"_  
 _Leaning back against the comforter, grinning, "You're gonna think I'm outta my mind..."_  
 _"As if I don't already..." she joked, tossing a hand towel at him._  
 _Looking her up and down once more, "I think you're p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t," spelling it out, as Stevie dashed into the room, twirling in her magenta tutu._  
 _Elizabeth, sighing at him in amusement, "What you **mean** to say is, there are **way** too many women in this house."_  
 _Her blue eyes holding news that made them sparkle before -  
"I wanna be where the people are! I wanna see, wanna see 'em dancin'!" Stevie sang out, enthusiastically._  
 _"Honey, don't jump on the bed with your sister so close by..."_

 _Crawling on his hands and knees, chasing the baby through the living room. "Dinosaur, Daddy!"  
"Rawr! Grrrrrrr!" His son shrieking with delight. Scooping him up and showering kisses upon Jason's little face._

 _Allie, weeping in his lap, as he gingerly combed the tangles of bright green Laffy String out of her hair._  
 _Jason, covered in pudding and giggling madly, racing through the kitchen._  
 _Stevie, holding an orphaned baby bird in her tiny hands, "Dad, we gotta help it!"_

 _The girls, camping in the middle of the living room. "Dad! Jason won't leave us alone!"_  
 _"Pretend it's not Jason, Al. Pretend he's a raccoon. You're camping in the woods, remember?"_  
 _"Ahhhhhh! Dad! Get the raccoon away from us!"_

 _Stevie, throwing up all over his brand new tie at the school's Father-Daughter Christmas Dance, "It's all right, sweetheart. You're not feeling good."_ _  
Three dozen Irises for Elizabeth's birthday, her favorite, her surprised smile.  
_

 _"Are we there yet?" Jason's voice._  
 _"No, Jas. Be quiet." Stevie's sigh._  
 _"Now? Are we there now?"_  
 _"Can't we put him someplace else?" Stevie's question._  
 _"How about the roof?" Allie's suggestion._  
" _We shoulda left him home."  
"We shoulda left **you** home!"  
_  
 _"Guys, we've only been in the car fifteen minutes!" Elizabeth admonishing them, exasperatedly._  
 _"Remind me again why we had all three...?" her light eyes, mesmerizing. Her smile tugging at her lips._  
 _"You wanted to go for a boy." Answering her without missing a beat, as he read the interstate signs._  
 _"Are you guys talkin' about me? Listen, you couldn't go a day without me here!" Laughing at his son's entirely accurate proclamation.  
_  
 _Jason pulling Stevie's hair, Allison slapping her brother's hand away as he reached for the entire bag of cookies, whining..._  
 _"Hey! **Don't** make me come back there!"_  
 _"You just- drive. I'll go."_  
 _Elizabeth, pressing her hand against his shoulder as she climbed into the back seat._  
 _"Yay!"_  
 _"Mom!"_  
 _"Can you put the spawn of cookie monster away?"_  
 _Catching her eye in the rear view mirror and laughing, "You'd think they were starved for attention."_

 _"Maybe ask Dad..."_  
 _"I can't! He's writing." his daughters' voices..._  
 _Tearing his tired eyes away from his computer screen, "What? What's wrong, Noodle? Hey, ask me! You can ask me anyth-"_  
 _"Henry, I swear. You get up from that chair one more time and I'll-"_  
 _Allie weeping, "This is so stupid. I'm so good at English!"_  
 _Sitting in his office, finishing his latest book,_ _"Liz, I'm just proofreading-"  
Turning around to peek at his family.  
His fear of his wife's wrath was trumped by his curiosity and amusement as to what exactly Elizabeth would do to him if he got up from his chair..._  
 _Allison's dark eyes were rimmed with red, "I can't do it! I hate math!"_ _  
_ _"Hold on, sweetheart. Give me a few more minutes and I'll see what I can-" Elizabeth's phone rang again.  
Stevie coming up behind Allie and gently braiding her long dark hair, calming her.  
"Lemme help," Jason, coming down the stairs and intervening in the nick of time.  
_

 _The snow was deep at the farm. They'd ridden all day. Jason's nose was the same color as Stevie's burgundy scarf.  
"Come on, you're not all too cool for this."  
"I'm twenty!"  
"You guys are so weird."  
"Mom, hold my phone but please do not film this. I don't want photographic evidence..."  
Jason tossing a snowball at Allie's back, missing her by an inch.  
All three kids piling on the giant green sled.  
"Humor your parents!"  
Elizabeth, laughing from the bottom of the hill, her blue parka matching her eyes.  
Giving them a strong push, "Stevie, tuck your feet in. Go, go, go guys!"  
Gliding fast over the white surface, the snow flying up around them. Stevie's shriek of happiness, Jason's laughter, Allison's scream of joy..._

Scream.  
Screaming,  
Glass breaking,  
The darkness was overwhelming,  
The car _skidding_  
 _Crashing-_

* * *

 **Allison**

"Allie." he murmured _, "Allie"_  
"Henry, can you hear me? _"  
_ _  
_


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's note: Thank you (as always) for your continued readership, interest, and reviews. I have received so many messages lately about how long it's been since we've heard from Elizabeth. The thing I'd like to impress is that this story is weaved through the collective and individual consciousnesses of the characters. Time is passing for all of them and the events of more than one chapter are unfolding at once. Each character has a different take on the same events. It seems a lot longer because of the individual peeks into each of the characters' consciousness but different parts of the story are happening at once. (Just as in real life!) Thank you, again.**

* * *

"Stephanie, your father is going to be fine. He..." The Doctor continued to speak but Stevie couldn't hear him. She couldn't see or think or move.  
The gasping sound that escaped her had to be coming from someone else, because she couldn't make a sound. Her empty stomach turned over and the hallway before her spun erratically. She felt herself start to sink toward the floor. Doctor Andrews caught her arm and guided her toward a chair. She felt his hand press firmly against her back. "Put your head down between your knees," he instructed her, "and breathe."

* * *

" _Allie_ ," he murmured, "Allie."  
"Henry, can you hear me?"  
He slowly opened his eyes, squinting up against the garishness of the fluorescent lights.  
"Henry, I'm Doctor Andrews."  
 _Doctor...?_  
Henry's heartbeat sped up.  
"Where's my daughter?" he asked, panic filling his voice. "Allie? Allison? Is she all right?"

"Mr. McCord, your daughter is fine. I will make sure that she knows you are awake. Can you tell me what happened? Do you know how you got here?"  
"I have to see my daughter. I _have_ to see if she's all right."  
"And I can see the tenacious streak runs in the family," he said with a small smile. He continued, "Do you know how you got here, Henry?"  
Henry shook his head to clear it, but it only made the pounding worse.  
" _Allie_ ," he said again, knowing his daughter's name didn't make any sense to the doctor who was trying to help him. Henry looked around the hospital room, the white blanket covering him became the _snow._ The glaring lights, Henry thought, _headlights_.  
"The car," he said, slowly.  
"Allie and I were- we were going..." Henry trailed off, rubbing his face with his palm. "Oh God, my daughter? Allie, is she-? My wife- Elizabeth? Stevie and Jason, do they- are they-?"  
"Mr. McCord, please don't distress yourself. Your oldest daughter and son are with Allison, now. Your wife is on her way."

* * *

" _You're all right,_ " Doctor Andrews repeated, his hand never leaving her back. "You're all going to be all right. I'll let you speak with your brother and sister and then I'll step in to check on Allison. Get up slowly now, Stephanie. I don't want three McCords on my watch tonight," he smiled gently and offered her his arm.

Stevie stood shakily, touched the Doctor's hand and took her first tentative steps back toward her family. She brushed her hair away from her face and caught a flash of dark red against her skin. The half-moon shapes of her fingernails were embedded in the tender flesh of her palm. When she opened the door, two pairs of expectant eyes met her own. Polar opposites of each other, Jason's light gaze, from their mother and Allison's dark eyes, so like their father's, both boring into her. Jason's hand still held Allison's. Their brother opened his mouth to speak but Stevie cut him off.  
" _He's alive,_ " she whispered, their image dissolving before her in a haze of tears. "Dad's gonna be okay."

* * *

Henry swallowed hard, fighting back the thousand questions and terrors that threatened to engulf him. He let himself take a deep breath, his chest aching as he did so.  
"Doc?" he said, anxiety tinting his voice, "What happened to my daughter?"  
"Allison is doing remarkably well. She sustained lacerations to her hands, neck, and her forehead. She also has a badly sprained ankle. We have her in a brace as a precaution."  
"Oh my God," Henry said softly, bowing his head.  
"Mr. McCord, can I ask you something?"  
Henry nodded, looking up into the other man's face, "Of course."  
"Do you, by chance, have military or police training?"  
Henry nodded again, just slightly. "I'm a retired Marine Corps Captain."  
The doctor smiled cryptically and Henry noticed a hint of emotion pass in his eyes, "I only ask because I've seen a lot of crash victims in my time here. Your protective reaction saved your daughter's life and then she was able to save yours."

* * *

Jason muffled his sob against Stevie's sweater. He allowed himself only a moment of crying before he pulled away from his sisters' embrace, turning from them and wiping his eyes.  
"Jas, you should go," Allison nominated him, at once. He cleared his throat before turning to look at his sisters again. "You'll be okay here?" he asked them both, his voice low and full of emotion.  
Allison wiped tears from her cheek and nodded. "Tell Dad-" her voice faded and Stevie pressed a kiss to her hair.  
"You sure?" he asked again, more to his oldest sister than to Allison, who was safely tucked in.  
Stevie leaned against Allison's bed. "We're in a _hospital_ , Jas. How could we _possibly_ get into trouble here?" she said, the first tentative smile Jason had seen all night, playing across her face.  
She touched his arm, "Go ahead, go sit with Dad. We'll be here waiting for you."  
Jason took one last look at them before he walked into the hall and found Michael waiting to take him upstairs. Jason nodded to him before walking with him toward the elevator.  
He made it halfway down the hall before he stopped, panic gripping him and holding him to the spot. His heart was pounding out of his chest as he ran back toward Allison's room, almost colliding with a nurse, and went straight into Stevie's arms.  
"Jas? Jas, hey," she rubbed his back, trying to calm him. "It's okay, it's _okay._ " He felt Allison's arms wrap around his back, all three of them held in one embrace. _"What if he can't talk to me? What if his memory is screwed up? What if he doesn't even know who I am?_ " the fears he'd held inside of him were flooding out onto his sister's shoulder.  
"Jas, Doctor Andrews says he's asking for us," Stevie whispered, gently. "Besides, you think Dad could ever forget _you?"_ Allison gave a tearful whisper against his back, "Thomas Aquinas, maybe. But not you."

"McCords!" the three of them broke apart at the sound of their last name. Michael appeared in the doorway. He was out of breath, as if he'd ran the distance from the elevator to the nurses station and back. "We have your mom on the line. Hospital protocol says I can only allow Stephanie to speak with her." Michael stopped to breathe and gave a slight grin. "Frankly, I think we've demolished nearly every hospital protocol guideline tonight, but I figure we should try to stay on the right side of the thin line."  
Jason grabbed Stevie's arm and looked into his sister's wide blue eyes. "It's okay," she said, "You go see Dad. I'll take care of Mom."

Up two floors, he counted the thirty seven steps from the elevator doors. Michael stood down the hall, giving him the space he needed. Jason paused outside his father's room, for all of the thousands of moments of the last few hours that he desperately needed to know that his father was all right, now that it came time to see his dad, he wasn't sure that he was strong enough. He pressed his head back against the wall to steady himself for a minute before pushing himself into the room. " _Dad_?"

* * *

 _"Mom?"_ Stevie held the receiver to her ear. She could only hear static on the other end then- "Stevie? Baby?" She felt her emotions threaten to engulf her at the sound of her mother's gentle voice.

 _She was ten years old. The fifth-grade backpacking trip. "But Mom, I'm scared! **Why** can't you just come get me?" she wept into the phone.  
"Stevie, listen to me, baby. I know you're scared but-"  
"I wanna talk to Daddy. He'd let me come home!"  
Whining and crying for what seemed like an hour. Hearing her mother bustling around in the kitchen, a sure sign that her patience was already on fumes. She could hear Allie and Jason spatting in the background. Her whining had gotten on her own nerves and obviously on her mother's, because the next thing she heard was:  
"Honey, you are the descendant of some of the greatest heroes and scoundrels that the Commonwealth of Virginia has ever seen. If you've got **one** thing running through your veins, it's guts. Now **don't** call me back until you're at the top of that mountain, little girl." __Her ten year old self had hung up on her mother out of spite. Her twenty-one year old self clung to the phone like the lifeline it was.  
_ "Mom? I'm here!"

* * *

Henry sighed deeply, his restlessness getting the best of him. The doctor said he'd send one of his children up to see him, but that had to have been an hour ago. If he had to wait much longer he thought he'd climb out of bed and limp to the nurses station to find out what room she was in and go to see her himself. They wouldn't like that, but to hell with hospital protocol...  
Allison.  
He felt his stomach turn over at the thought of his daughter. Her scream, as the car had spun around on the slick roadway. Her hands bandaged, her ankle sprained.  
The doctor's words rang in his ears. He didn't fully understand them, but he was sure he'd never forget them as long as he lived. _"Your protective reaction saved your daughter's life and she was able to save yours."_ He couldn't remember what had happened after the car had been hit but the Doctor's message was clear: Allison had been conscious. She'd been alive, awake, alert, and alone.  
Alone in the car, alone in the ambulance, alone in the hospital. Allison hated hospitals. She couldn't even watch those medical dramas Stevie was always catching up on.  
He pressed his head back against the pillow and forced himself to breathe. A sound jarred him from his thoughts and _\- "Dad?"_

* * *

Elizabeth leaned forward against the front seat of the car and her hand shook so hard that she almost dropped the heavy cell phone Frank handed back. She could hear muffled sounds on the other end of the line, movement, jumbled voices, but nothing that sounded remotely like any of her children, _then-_  
 _"Mom?"_ Stevie's voice, soft in her ear.  
"Stevie? Baby?"  
"Mom, I'm here."  
Even through the static, the emotion in her daughter's voice cut through her like a knife. She must have made a sound because she felt Jay's hand squeeze her knee.  
"Mom, breathe,"  
She didn't have time to marvel at how well her daughter knew her, as she forced herself to draw a shaky breath.  
"Stevie, baby are you okay-?"  
 **Static**  
"Mom? Mom, can you hear me?"  
"I can, baby. I'm here."  
"Mom, we're okay. We're here- we've been with Allie all night. She's fine, Mom. She's-"  
Elizabeth pressed her hand against the seat. Jay's palm still held onto her knee, grounding her.  
"Oh my God. Baby, I'm so- I'm so-" she couldn't find words. How impossibly grateful she felt in that moment but also how terrifyingly desperate. She stifled her sob behind her palm and rested her forehead against the seat in front of her.  
"Mom, it's _okay."_ her sweet daughter was trying to soothe her. Her child who had been through hell and back tonight was trying to soothe her from miles away.  
"Dad's-"  
 **Static  
** " _Stevie?"_  
"Mom? Dad's-"  
 **Static**  
She gave a whimper, _"Sweetheart?"_  
"Mom, Jas is with him. Dad's all right."  
She couldn't stop her sob this time and she heard her daughter's gentle watery laugh on the other end. "No fair, Mom. You're supposed to wait til you get here before making me cry."  
"Stevie," she gasped out her name in a shuddering whisper. "I'm almost there, sweetheart. I've got-"  
"Forty-five minutes, Ma'am. Barring more detours," Frank informed her from the driver's seat.

"Call it an hour, Ma'am."  
"Is that Jay?" Stevie asked, hearing his voice.  
Elizabeth nodded, forgetting Stevie couldn't see her. "Yes, baby. Jay's here."  
Her daughter was quiet for a few moments. "I'll have to thank him," she said cryptically, more to herself than to Elizabeth.  
"Stevie, I love you so much, sweetheart. I-"  
"I can't wait til you get here," her daughter interjected, her voice timid.  
Elizabeth massaged her temple with her fingertips, feeling her tears fall again, "I just wanna hold you, honey. I wanna hold all of you."  
She heard Stevie take a deep breath, reminding her to inhale herself. "Allie'll be so happy-"  
"Stevie, tell her. Tell her how much I love her-" Elizabeth felt her voice fading out.  
"She knows Mom, but I will."  
"And Jason, too and Dad-"  
"I will. You'll be here soon, Ma." Stevie reassured her, gently. "I love you."  
"I love you, baby. To the Moon. I'll see you soon."


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Thank you as _always_ for your continued interest and reviews. I apologize for the many month-long break between chapters. I had to take some time to be sure I could do this story as much justice as possible (and school got in the way!) Thank you, again! Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

 _"Jason!_ " Henry cried. His son's face was tear streaked and his eyes were red. "Buddy, are you okay?"  
Jason was looking at him as if he were a ghost.  
"Jas," Henry softly said his name again, reaching for him with his good arm. "I'm all right, pal."  
He felt himself well up with tears at the sight of his son. Jason stood as still as a statue in the middle of the room, gazing at him.  
"I look that bad, bud?" Henry asked him, trying to keep his tone light, but his voice cracked and gave him away.  
 _"No, Dad. No,"_ Jason shook his head, vehemently, "It's just-"  
Henry watched his son bite down hard on his bottom lip. "Buddy, c'mere," he said, gently and Jason came in close to hug him.

Henry let himself breathe, the knot in his chest loosening for the first time since he woke up. He felt his tears start to fall when Jason's back shuddered beneath his hand and his son gave a sob.  
"I was real worried, Dad," he wept into Henry's shoulder, "We were all really scared. I'm glad you're okay..."  
"I love you, Jas," Henry whispered, earnestly, "I'm so glad _you're_ okay, too. You've been with Allie?" he asked, cautiously. All of his children had been through hell and back tonight and he had to be more careful than usual with each of them.  
"Yeah, Allie- she's doing fine. Stevie's with her right now and Mom's on her way."  
Henry skimmed his son's face. He wasn't used to seeing Jason's gaze so clouded with anxiety.

When Jason sat down carefully on the edge of the bed beside him, Henry affectionately ruffled his hair.  
"Don't worry, bud. It's gonna take more than that to get rid of me," he said with a slight grin, trying to make Jason smile, but his son's tears continued to fall. Henry reached across to the side table and pushed the tissue box toward Jason. "Crying does not indicate you are weak, Jas. From birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive," he said softly, wiping his own tears away with his hand. Jason nodded and Henry rubbed his son's back through his sweatshirt. "It's okay, Jas. I'm gonna be all right," he soothed him over and over.  
"You got hurt," Jason said, it wasn't a question. It was a statement and Henry couldn't deny it. He nodded, "A couple broken bones and a concussion. Nothing life-threatening, thank God."  
Jason looked at him, something stirring behind his light eyes. "Dad, Allie and I – we prayed for you earlier."  
Henry seemed only mildly surprised, "I knew somebody had to be putting in a good word for me with The Man Upstairs." Jason gave a slight smile and half rolled his eyes. Henry patted his back.  
"I'm sorry you and Stevie had to go through all this alone tonight," he said, "You've been a lot braver than I ever could have been at your age, let me tell you."  
Jason flushed with his father's praise and Henry took advantage of his son's smile.  
"By the way, this concussion hasn't screwed up my memory too badly. What I said about the tears? That was Charlotte Bronte." Henry whispered, grinning as Jason laughed.

* * *

Allison jerked awake, her neck aching. Her dark eyes surveyed the dimly lit room before her. Stevie hadn't returned, which was probably a good sign. It meant she'd been able to get in touch with their mother.  
Jason was still upstairs with their father. Allison couldn't blame him. She desperately wanted to do was see Dad, too.  
She gave a heavy sigh and reached for the light pink blanket that had been tossed across her shin. Her hands were tender beneath the bandages and she winced as she brought the blanket close to her cheek. It smelled faintly of her sister's vanilla scented shampoo.  
If they were at home, she'd be curled up in her own bed by now...

 _The faint sounds of the shower running.  
Her father's voice speaking softly to her mother on his cell phone, as he walked down the hall. He would stop and lightly tap on her door, "You okay, Noodle?" he'd ask, checking on her.  
Jason's amused laughter would drift up the stairs from where he sat, watching TV in the living room.  
These sounds, their routine, as familiar to her as her own face in the mirror, lulled her to sleep night after night._  
 _Sometimes she stayed awake long enough to hear the tip-toe of her mother's delicate steps on the hardwood. She would stop in Jason's room to turn off his computer, then into Stevie's room to make sure she hadn't fallen asleep at her desk. She'd slip into Allison's room, just as sleep was arriving. Elizabeth's soft hair would tickle Allison's cheek when she bent to kiss her goodnight, her lipstick all worn off from the long day._

* * *

The frigid wind whipped her blonde locks across her face, her warm tears drying automatically against her cheeks. Elizabeth forced herself to draw a breath and felt her stomach turn over once more. Swallowing hard, she willed herself not to become sick again. She sat back on her heels and fought to regain her sense of control. The night was black, in stark contrast to the white flakes that continued to swirl around her. The only light came from the headlights of the SUV, more than a few yards away. Elizabeth inhaled again and pressed her hands to her frozen thighs, as she tried to stand. She became vaguely aware that her slacks were soaked against her legs and how her knees would be bruised from where she'd stumbled onto the frozen ground.  
One of the heavy SUV doors slammed shut in a gust of wind and Elizabeth jumped at the harsh sound. The last few minutes came rushing back to her...  
 _  
Stevie's sweet voice, reassuring._  
 _"To the Moon."_  
 _Losing her grip on the phone_.  
 _"Ma'am, I'm so glad they're-"_  
 _Her stomach rolling, rolling, rolling..._  
 _Jay's expression, as she was sure her face turned as pale as the snow._  
 _"Stop the car!"_  
 _Pressing all of her weight against the door -  
Out, out, out into the darkness of an open field...  
She couldn't breathe until-  
Doubling over and becoming violently ill.  
Trembling, sinking weakly to her knees...  
The blast of cold air that assaulted her skin hadn't registered, the chill of the snow creeping up her arms in her silk blouse hadn't phased her..._

She could just make out Jay's silhouette, standing near the car with her coat in his arms, ready and waiting for her. She looked down into the deep snow that surrounded her. The night was strangely silent. The wind, the snow, the rumble of the car engine were the only sounds she could hear. She became aware of the sound of her own shuddering breath and she forced herself to move. One step at a time, she picked her way gingerly across the snow-covered field. Each step she took became a mantra:

 _Allison  
Henry  
Stevie  
Jason  
Henry  
Stevie  
Jas  
Allison  
Stevie  
Jason  
Allie  
Henry  
Alive  
All right  
 **Safe**_

She didn't remember covering so much ground. She didn't remember making it back to the SUV or Jay's hands touching her shoulders when he wordlessly helped her into her warm coat. She didn't remember shivering uncontrollably, or her teeth chattering, or slumping against the arm rest and drifting impossibly off to sleep.  
She remembered Henry's kiss against her temple, hours and hours before, when he'd shifted in their bed and tried not to wake her. She remembered brushing Allie's hair behind her ear, as they'd all fought for space around the kitchen counter, during the morning breakfast rush. She remembered Jason's gentle pat on her shoulder as he left to catch the bus and Stevie's quick hug as she hurried off to an early seminar. She remembered leaning against the table, smiling softly to herself, despite the noise and commotion of their morning routine. She remembered her mother's words: " _I love you, Lizzie. You'll be fine."_ and her daughter's: _"You'll be here soon, Ma."_

In her semi-conscious state, Elizabeth felt her head bump against the arm rest, as the SUV came to a halting stop. Jay's voice seemed far away when his hand brushed her shoulder, "Ma'am? Elizabeth, we made it. _We're here."  
_

* * *

Slowly, Stevie made her way back down the hallway toward her sister's room. Her legs felt heavy with exhaustion.  
She peeked into Allison's room. Her sister's dark hair was fanned out over the white pillowcase. Inexplicably, Stevie felt the smallest smile tug at the corner of her mouth. All she wanted to do was curl up beside her sister and let sleep overcome them both; but she pushed herself on, past Allison's door. Someone had to be awake when their mother arrived.  
Elizabeth would be frantic, that much Stevie knew. Her mother would need someone to lean on, to explain, to comfort her. She walked down the silent hallway toward a window at the far end. She grasped the window ledge with her fingertips, feeling the chill of the glass against her skin.  
She looked up at the sound of the elevator doors opening. "Hey," her brother's face was pale and his tired eyes mirrored her own, "Is Mom okay?"  
Stevie leaned up against the wall and touched his arm, "She's _fine._ Now that she knows they're okay she's even better. How 'bout Dad?" she asked him, gently. Jason gave her a tentative smile, "He's all right. He's-" he looked down at the floor and cleared his throat, fixing his gaze on their feet. _"Stevie,"_ he whispered and she enveloped him in her arms. In the middle of the empty and quiet hallway, they wept. Jason gave a soft laugh against her hair and asked in a low voice, "Why are we even crying?"  
Stevie pressed a kiss to his temple, "We are _way_ over-tired, kiddo."

"You gonna go see Dad?" Jason asked her quietly, pulling back from her embrace. "I'll sit with Al."  
They crept back into Allison's room and Stevie used an extra sheet to cover the recliner chair in the corner.  
"Stevie, I'm _fine,"_ Jason whispered to her more than once. She tossed an extra pillow in his direction as a response. He caught it deftly and settled himself in the chair. "Look, I'm settled. Pillow, blanket-" he failed to stifle a yawn. "Go see Dad."


	14. Chapter 14

_As always and ever, Thank you for your reviews and continued support of this story. It means more than you know. Graduate school and work have taken their toll on my writing time but this story is embedded in the back of my mind and so we continue.  
_

* * *

Mary jerked her head toward the faint sound of high heels against the stark linoleum floor. She was out of her seat before the woman could reach the Nurses Station. The sound of her footsteps stopped and Mary peeked around the corner to find the visitor, with her blonde hair askew, gripping the window ledge as she eased out of her heels.  
"Ma'am, you don't need to-" died on Mary's lips when the woman continued down the hall in her bare feet. When blue eyes met Mary's brown, the Secretary winced, "Sorry, I'm making so much noise." The nurse shook her head, "Don't worry, Madam Secretary," then pointed down the hallway. "You want the seventh door on the right."  
The Secretary's beautiful brow was furrowed, and Mary got the distinct impression that this woman could see right through her, searching for the news she so desperately needed. "Thank you. And please call me Elizabeth." Mary nodded and then watched as the Secretary of State continued down the hallway, quiet as a whisper, with her heels in hand.

* * *

Up the elevator and thirty seven steps across the white floor toward his door, she walked. The warm coffeehouse seemed like days ago instead of hours, and she shivered with fatigue. She reached her father's room and peeked inside. A small smile washed across her face, he was asleep. Stevie stood in the doorway, hugging herself for warmth, and surveyed her father. His glasses were crooked on his face. A page of yesterday's newspaper was sprawled across his lap. She shook her head at Henry's predictability and quietly stole across the room. She folded up the newspaper and tucked it onto a nearby shelf.  
She took in her father's face. The stitches across his forehead, just like Allie, and the bruise already forming near his jaw. There were white gauzy bandages covering his hand and a heavy cast protecting his entire arm.  
Her father. He was _here_. He was _alive._ He was _asleep._ She lightly kissed his forehead, "I love you, Dad," she whispered. She settled herself into a nearby chair, laid her head down on the bed, and allowed herself to close her eyes.

* * *

 _Four, five, six_...Elizabeth silently counted doors as she jogged through the empty hallway. Her palm fell on the cold metal of the half open door to her right.  
Allison. _  
Oh God, she's so pale._

Elizabeth couldn't stop herself from shaking. Allison's porcelain skin was ghostly against the dark wave of her hair. Two of her children lay asleep and Elizabeth willed herself to stay silent for their sake. All of her remaining energy going toward swallowing the oppressive wave of emotion that was quickly constricting her breathing. She saw that her son lay no more than three feet from Allison. Jason's protective fingers rested against his sister's arm, reaching across from his chair.  
Rationally, she knew the low beeping sound of the monitor above her head was the sound of Allie's heart beating, but her trembling fingers felt her daughter's lithe wrist for her pulse. Allison's life continued pulsing away beneath Elizabeth's fingertips and she stifled a sob into her own shoulder. _Good girl, Noodle._ She took in Allison's face, her bruised cheek, and the stitches dashed across her perfect visage. Lightly kissing her temple, she felt a cry slip from her lips, muffled into her daughter's hair. " _Allie, I love you_ ," she whispered, tearing herself away from her daughter's side. One soft press of her hand to Jason's knee and she pushed herself into the bathroom.

* * *

Henry stirred slowly. Opening his eyes, he saw his eldest daughter's blonde hair strewn over his white sheets. Henry felt himself well up with emotion.  
 _Stevie.  
_ She was asleep, perched precariously on a chair and half leaning against his bed.  
She hadn't woken him. How long he'd been out he didn't know, but Stevie, in her sweet care, hadn't wanted to disturb him. Little did she know that the only disturbance he wanted was to see his family. He touched her head with his hand, his white bandages catching on her golden locks. "Stevie," he whispered her name, "Sweetheart..."  
She woke suddenly, in a panic, _"Dad? Dad-"_ she cried, disoriented. He caught her hand in his own, "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm right here."  
Stevie looked at him for a moment, her brow furrowed and her blue eyes, shades lighter than her mother's, were bloodshot. She was staring at him as though he was the missing piece of a puzzle she'd been trying to put together for hours without result.  
" _Honey_ ," he began cautiously, touching her cheek before Stevie threw herself into his arms. " _Dad_ ," she sobbed out into his shoulder. Henry held her tightly with his good arm. "Oh God, did I hurt you?" Stevie gasped realizing her action and pulling away. Knowing his daughter, who was more Elizabeth than he, this was the first time tonight that she'd truly let herself fall apart. Stevie would have been the most parental, trying to keep both Jason and Allison afloat while drowning herself. He pressed a kiss to her temple. _"It's all right,_ " he whispered, soothing her over and over. It was as if time had rewound itself and she'd just crawled into his lap when she was seven, sobbing over the death of an old cat who lived with them at the farm. No matter how much they grew, his children were still just that, _children._ No amount of life or maturity would ever change that.

* * *

Jason felt her more than heard her. The touch of her lips against his hair, the press of her tear dampened cheek to his forehead, her gentle hand holding onto his own. His mother had arrived.


End file.
